


Waiting For You

by KetamineKendra



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, And hair, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Identity Porn, M/M, Soulmate AU, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Wade has like nicer scars?, god there are so many "cliffhangers', gun range, hopefully, im stringing you all along, it'll be worth it, mild body horror, shameless app invention by author, tattoo parlor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2020-11-27 05:08:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 36,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20942771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KetamineKendra/pseuds/KetamineKendra
Summary: Wade has been waiting a long time to meet his soulmate. Peter hasn't been waiting as long, but he's still eager.





	1. Chapter 1

Wade Winston Wilson was a mercenary for a while. He was the best at it, too. And then, about five years ago, he came home from a mission to a message on his answering machine from the New York office of Child Protective Services. They told him he needed to get in touch with them as quickly as possible on a matter of utmost importance. 

Now, one doesn't become the most successful mercenary in the world by being dumb, his juvenile humor aside. He figured something monumental was in the works. So, after a nice long shower and dressing in comfortable but going out appropriate clothes, he dialed the number he was given. 

Forty eight hours later, he was signing the lease on a new two bedroom apartment in a good neighborhood, officially hanging up his Deadpool persona. Thank God he'd always kept his civilian identity quiet. He didn't have just his own self to worry about anymore. He had Ellie, a dark haired, gorgeous little five year old that had stolen his heart within two seconds of meeting her. It's a shame he hadn't known she existed until the harried social worker informed him of it. He would have loved to have been there for the first five years. No matter, though. He was going to be there for the rest of it. 

They'd been happily existing as a family of two when a question he'd been dreading came up. "What's that?" Ellie was sitting in his lap as he read her a bedtime story, but her attention wasn't on the Fairy-tale Adventures of the Grimm sisters. Her tiny little finger, with its chipped green and yellow glittery polish, was resting on the neat black letters nestled in his right wrist. PBP. 

Wade had hoped she'd already know what those were, but maybe she'd been too young to care when her mother was around. "Those are, uh, soul marks." 

"Soul marks?" Ellie bounced in his lap until she was facing him, her book completely forgotten. 

He sighed. They definitely weren't getting away from this discussion before she was satisfied. "Yep. When you turn eighteen, these letters show up on your wrist. They're the initials of your soulmate." 

She inspected the letters, little finger running over each and every one. "A soulmate is someone that loves you forever?" 

How to explain the complicated reality of soulmates to a five year old? Wade was quiet for a moment as he gathered his thoughts. "Well, yeah, kind of. But there's different kinds of soulmates. Some soulmates are just very best friends, and some love each other and get married." 

"Are you going to marry your soulmate? Will I get a new mommy?" 

And that was very solidly information he didn't have. "Maybe. Or maybe I'll just be best friends with them. I don't know. I just know that it might be a boy or a girl." 

"Another daddy is okay, too." Ellie turned back around, resting her back against his chest and lifting up the book again. "Keep reading." 

Wade heaved a sigh of relief as he found his place again. That wasn't the worst talk ever, and he'd honestly expected it to be pretty bad. But it was over and everything was fine. He finished the chapter and then tucked her into bed. 

When he made his way to his own bed shortly after, he lay in the dark and stared at the ceiling for a good long while. His left forefinger absent-mindedly ran over his right wrist, tracing over letters he'd memorized years and years ago. "Where are you, P?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, the first two chapters should be labeled prologues because the main story takes place later, but you know. Sue me.

Peter Benjamin Parker couldn't concentrate. His eighteenth birthday was today and his mark was going to be here. He wasn't born until four fifteen in the afternoon, but that didn't matter. He couldn't keep his eyes off of his wrist, expecting the letters to show up at any minute. It made the day drag. 

He was walking home from school, staring at his wrist and not watching where he was going, when he bumped into a little girl. "You shit head, watch where you're going." 

Peter was so surprised to hear such a sweet little girl say those words that he just stared as she picked herself up from the sidewalk. She had a head full of curly dark hair and she was gripping a broken mug in her hands. He hadn't heard it break. Did he break it? 

"I'm sorry! Are you okay? Can I get you a new mug?" Peter felt like shit. The little girl looked at the mug in her hands. It was white, with the traditional I heart NY on the side. Her lip quivered and Peter felt panic rising in his chest. "Come on, I'll buy you a new one!" 

She looked up at him, her little eyebrows drawn together in suspicion. "Eleanor Comacho-Wilson! What have I told you about walking off?!" A deep voice came from behind the girl and both of them instantly looked toward it. 

The little girl, Eleanor apparently, looked back at the man and put her hands defiantly on her hips. Peter looked at him and stared. The man was gorgeous. Tall and broad, wearing form-fitting clothes. He had beautiful eyes and Peter was sure that his smile was gorgeous. The man was right in front of the girl before Peter noticed the scars. They littered every bit of skin that he could see, faint white and pale pink lines. They lent a sexy, dangerous air to him. Peter was ashamed at the mental image of licking them came to mind. 

Then, he swallowed, because the man was now glaring at him, suspicion evident on his face. And yeah, maybe Peter was also Spiderman, but he wasn't in his suit and so he'd probably have no choice but to let the man kick his ass if that was what he wanted to do. "Who the hell are you and why are you talking to my kid?" 

Peter held up his hands in innocence. "I bumped into her. I wasn't watching where I was going. I was just offering to buy her a new mug because it's broken." 

At this, the man turned back to the girl. "Ellie, you little con artist." 

Ellie turned red and looked down at the ground. She mumbled something, but Peter was too busy trying to figure out what the hell was going on for him to hear. "Wait. I didn't break that mug?" 

The man laughed as he looked back at him, and Peter felt like his knees went a little weak. Yeah, that smile was gorgeous. "Nope. She busted that shit two blocks ago." He raised his brow and turned back to his daughter. "And the little evil genius was going to try to get you to buy her a new one because I said I wouldn't." 

Blinking, Peter nodded slowly. "Yeah, wow. She's.. That's so devious." He was honestly impressed. 

The man smiled widely at him. "I know. I'm so proud of her but I've really got to get her to stop being evil before she's eighteen." 

Peter snorted and shook his head. "Probably smart not to raise an evil kid." 

The man chuckled and then sighed. "So what was so important that you weren't paying attention and bumped into a six year old?" 

Peter turned red and held up his still blank wrist. "Eighteenth birthday." 

Nodded in complete understanding, the man put his hand on Ellie's shoulder and pulled her close to him. "Well, happy birthday, and I hope you find your soulmate quickly." He smiled and started down the sidewalk. "Watch where you're going this time!" 

Laughing, Peter shook his head and made his way home. That night, he couldn't sleep, too busy staring at the WWW that had appeared on his wrist. He traced it with his fingers, a small smile on his lips. Who was it? 

And what was Ellie's dad's name?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a beta, guys! The lovely xangedechux has agreed to let me brainstorm and plot!
> 
> I haven't had a beta in a bajillian years! It's so exciting!

An alarm was going off. Wade threw himself onto the left side of the bed and started reaching blindly for his phone. When he found it, he accidentally knocked it off the bedside table. "Mother fucking shit eating bastard cakes." He leaned off the bed, reaching blearily for the loud little rectangle. Finally, he found it and pressed buttons until it shut up. Then, he lay on his back and blinked at the ceiling as he tried to wake up some more. 

Pulling the phone in front of his face, he glanced at the time. "Shit balls!" He jumped out of bed and started struggling into a pair of pajama pants. "Ellie! Ellie! Eleanor! Get your butt up and in the bathroom! We're late!" 

As soon as he had his pants on, he went to her room and pounded on her door. He heard a crash and then her sleepy voice rang out. "I'm fine! Just fell out of bed." 

"Go brush your hair and your teeth." Still cursing under his breath, Wade ran into the kitchen. He found her backpack in the back of a chair in the dining room, and pulled her lunch box off of it. Looking inside, he fought off the urge to gag. Tuna casserole leftovers had not aged over the weekend very well. He dropped the whole Tupperware container in the trash, deciding it was a lost cause. Then, he looked through the fridge for something else to pack for her. There was a pizza box, but when he opened it he saw that it was his own olive and pineapple type that he'd probably have to fend off a murder attempt if he packed for her. The leftover spaghetti had some fun grey spots in it that he was pretty sure would result in child abuse charges for packing. "Alright. Money. Money is good. I have money. As soon as I find my wallet." 

By the time Ellie was out of the bathroom, dressed in her glaringly sparkly pink unicorn top from Justice and dark purple jeans, he had a nice twenty dollar bill he tucked into her pocket. "Open up." 

"Dad. I'm ten years old now. I'm not going to lie about brushing my teeth." Ellie put her hands on her hips and tried to glare at him. 

"Yeah, see, I'd believe that if I hadn't had to make you go brush your teeth twice last week. Now open." He leaned close when she complied and took a sniff of her mouth. Yep, that was mint. "Good. Now shoes." 

She got her shoes on and he pulled on a hoodie and a pair of flip flops, then they were out the door. They talked the whole way to her school, and then she consented to give her dad a kiss on the cheek, even if she rolled her eyes at him. 

When he got home, he got himself in the shower and then dressed. Ellie had school, he had work. When he walked into the tattoo shop, he waved at Vanessa, completely ignoring her deadeyed stare. She knew damn well he was supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago. 

A few hours passed, where Wade tattooed some people and then set aside his two hour long block for Vanessa to work on his chest piece. The center of it was the face of the mask he'd worn as Deadpool, with two katanas behind it. There were flowers and various weapons surrounding it, stretching it until it reached from the hollow of his throat to the bottom of his sternum, and from shoulder to shoulder. They'd finally finished all the outlines last session, and now they were going to start working in some colors. He probably had another five sittings to go before it was finished, but he didn't mind. Quality work took time. 

Over the years, he'd added plenty of ink to his skin. Sometimes it was a little tricky to work around the scars he had, but Vanessa was a talented woman that always made it work out in the best way. 

"So, have you thought about it?" 

Wade sighed. "Vanessa, I already told you, I -" 

"'Don't want to bring some random stranger into my life when I have Ellie. It doesn't matter what I want, she comes first, Ness.' Yeah, I know." Vanessa wiped blood and excess ink from his skin and inspected her work. "Okay. So I get it. You don't want to try one of the dating sites for the unmatched. But what about that new site, SoulFind?" 

"SoulFind?" Wade was hesitant to ask, but he was curious. 

Vanessa looked at him for a second, a glint in her eye and a smirk on her lips. "Yeah. It started out as this research project at Columbia, but as it went on a few years, they decided to make it global. I mean, it's not there yet, but they're trying. They've got something like six million users, and more people sign up all the time." 

Wade looked at her. "Okay? That doesn't actually tell me why I should try it. It sounds like just another dating site." 

"It's to match people up with their soulmates. You go in, sign up, and put in your initials. If anyone has them, you get to see their profile and decide if you want to reach out or not." 

"I don't know, Ness. Doesn't that kind of, I don't know, take the magic out of it?" Wade clenched his hand into a fist a few times. They were coming up on the end of the session and he was starting to feel overstimulated. 

Vanessa stopped tattooing just to look at him, her eyes wide. "Magic? Oh my god. You're one of those." When Wade just looked at her confused, she snorted and went back to work. "You know, when we slept together, your line was, and I quote, 'hey, baby, I bet those legs would be a great frame for my face.' How the hell can you be one of those romantic losers?" 

"Okay, one, that line is fucking gold. And it worked, so you can't even say shit about it." Wade glared at her, though it lost some power since he was just looking at the top of her head. "And two, it was fine not to be romantic with you because you're not my soulmate. If your name had been like Patty or Petunia, or something, I would have tried to be more romantic." 

The gun flipped off and Vanessa stayed silent as she cleaned him up and then took care of covering the piece. And then, she punched him in the arm. "You're a fucking asshole, Wade." 

Wade shouted in pain. She had a mean right hook. "What the hell?!" 

"I'm not worth romance because your marks don't match up with my name? What kind of inane bullshit is that?" 

"Vanessa! If I would have tried to wine and dine you, you would have ripped my balls off." Wade glared at her. After a moment, she nodded once. "Yeah. I was right." 

She started cleaning up the room. "Still, you're pushing thirty five now, dude. You should be looking a little more seriously for that soulmate of yours. And don't try to come at me with that bullshit about wanting to keep Ellie safe. Your soulmate is going to love her just as much as you do."

Well, he couldn't deny that. "Fine. I'll think about it. You happy?"

"Very." Vanessa smiled and then shooed him out of the room.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just finished chapter eleven and have solid plans for four more, and nebulous plans for an undecided amount after that. Hope yall are in it for the long haul.
> 
> -kisses-

At twenty two years old, Peter was in that awkward part of life. Half of his friends were with their soulmates, while the other half still didn't care. He himself went between the two sides on a daily basis. A part of him didn't understand how he could ever have the time to do anything if he had a soulmate. He went to class, worked a paid internship, and spent his free time as a vigilante. What partner would want to be squeezed into that overactive schedule? 

At the same time, though, he wanted what MJ and Gwen had. They fought sometimes, yeah, but they were so incredibly sweet to watch when he wasn't feeling very jealous of them. They were so obviously in love and in sync that it was amazing. 

Peter rolled down his mask and shook his head. He could worry about soulmates when he wasn't hearing the sounds of a carjacking. Spiderman had more to worry about than his soulmate. 

At the end of the night, Peter showered and spread some tiger balm on a bruise to his ribs. He wasn't sure that the stuff actually worked, but Uncle Ben had sworn by it and Peter couldn't seem to not use it when he had bad bruises. When that was done, he climbed in bed and started looking at his phone. 

After checking Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Reddit, his thumb hovered over a green and white icon on the third screen. He stared at the SF icon for a while, then finally clicked on it. What's the worst that could happen? There was still no matches? He was only twenty two. There was a chance that his soulmate wasn't eighteen yet. And besides, it's not like every single person that was unmatched was on the app. It wasn't that big yet. 

When the app loaded up, he raised his brow at the little red number by the heart on top. There was a little number one there, where there never had been before. He clicked on it and then stared really hard. He had a possible match. There, on the screen, was a tiny little picture that he could barely make out more than a stunning smile and bright eyes in, next to the words 'You have a possible match!' 

Panicking, he closed the app and tossed his phone to the foot of his bed. "Okay, Peter. Chill out. It's a possible match. They just go on your initials. That guy's name is probably something like Barnabas. He's not W. Don't get excited." 

His talk down didn't really work. His heart was pounding and he couldn't stop himself from thinking about the idea that he wasn't ready. He was still Spiderman. Did he want his soulmate yet? In theory, yes, because they'd love Spiderman, too, right? But he still didn't have time. 

The phone was like a magnet. He couldn't keep his eyes off it. "Well, I can at least put myself out of my misery. Alright, Barnabas, let's check you out." 

He took a deep breath and then grabbed his phone, opening SoulFind back up. Then, he clicked on the picture and felt his stomach swoop. Wade Winston Wilson. He swallowed and looked through the profile, though there wasn't much to it. There were two pictures, one was hard to make out because Wade had his back to the sun and a hood pulled up. The main focus of the photo was a blindingly white smile. The other was the profile picture. That same smile looked at him, but now he could see the rest of his face, though it was blurry. Peter stared for a while, then ran his finger lightly over his cheek. The man was gorgeous. He was also slightly familiar, but Peter couldn't place where from. 

Snapping himself out of his small daze, he looked through the information that had been filled out. He was a tattoo artist and he was a single father to a ten year old girl. He was also thirty four years old. A twelve year age gap wasn't exactly ideal, but who was he kidding? If this guy was his soulmate he wasn't going to give a crap. Although, it made him feel a little bad. This guy could have had his initials on his wrist since Peter was six. How awful to wait so long. 

It took another few minutes before he opened up the messenger option. He stared at the text box for a while and then finally decided to just do it. _'Hey, you came up as a possible match for me. And I'm going to admit, your initials do fit my mark. Maybe we can talk?'_ He felt stupid for the message, but he sent it before he could second guess himself. Now he just had to wait and see if he wanted to talk.


	5. Chapter 5

Wade had been dealing with nightmares at three o'clock in the morning when he finally decided to sign up for SoulFind. He didn't honestly know what the hell he was doing with it. He had been telling the truth when he talked to Vanessa. The whole romance of the soulmate situation made him happy, he didn't want to take that out of the equation by finding his damn soulmate on an app. But he'd been lonely and a little sad so he'd signed up for it, agonizing for an hour over pictures to upload before finally deciding on two. 

He'd just gotten Ellie to bed when he got a message. Looking at it in confusion for a few moments, he finally opened it up. Well, the initials matched his mark, so, with a little more hesitation than a grown man should be feeling about a dumb little icon, he clicked on the profile. Then, his knees gave out a bit and he sat down at the kitchen table. Peter Benjamin Parker, aged twenty two. Twenty two? Holy shit, that was young. He was a student at Empire University, studying chemical engineering, and he had an internship at Stark Industries. He liked photography, insects, and Star Wars. There were six photos of him, and every single one of them had Wade torn between asking him to please come over and suck him off, and telling him to put on some decent clothes. Like floor length wizards robes or something so he couldn't see the absolutely sinful shape of his body. 

Vanessa would never forgive him if he ghosted the kid. Hell, _he_ wouldn't forgive him. Finally, he licked his lips and started typing carefully. _I'd be down to talk, Petey Pie._

A response came less than a minute later. _Oh God. My possible soulmate is one of those people_ It was followed by three of the laugh-crying emojis. 

Wade smiled a little. _One of those people?? Canadian? Tall? Angry bean juice drinkers? I'll have you know, I'm only two of those things._

_I was talking about the nicknames but please tell me you're not an angry bean juice drinker. #creamer4life_

Now he couldn't help it, he chuckled. Okay, Peter was kind of funny. He felt a little bubble of interest in his stomach, but he was okay with leaving this like it was. Maybe Peter wasn't his soulmate, maybe he was. Right now, he was just fun to talk to. _My favorite is International Delight Italian Sweet Cream. It's so fucking good._

_Yaaaaaaassssss_

Wade laughed out loud. _Our first thing in common!_ He followed it up with three stars, six hearts, one drooling face, and two heart eyed emojis.

_The first of many, hopefully. Sadly, though, I have to go to bed. Class and work in the morning._ He followed it with a single skull emoji and then the little green dot next to his name turned grey. 

Wade smiled and put his phone on the table. Okay. So that was pretty nice. He could see the appeal. Especially if they could just get to know each other over text like this. It was like a faster, more exciting version of penpals. He could dig it.


	6. Chapter 6

The first night of conversation wasn't the last. Pretty soon, Peter was immensely glad for the large screen of his Stark phone that had been part of his internship package because he was on it, all the time. Wade and him messaged each other constantly, talking about everything. They had a similar form of humor, though Wade's was a little darker than his own. They loved comic books and movies and a lot of the same TV shows. 

Peter had even convinced Wade to send him a few pictures of his tattoos and what he did with those was between him and his bottle of lube. He didn't have any tattoos himself, but he returned the favor with photos of his photographs. 

The only blight on his horizon was a human trafficking ring. It didn't seem to matter how many times he chased them down, he could only seem to get to them as they were moving. He managed to rescue some of the victims, all of them under the age of fifteen, but it wasn't enough when he knew that this operation was huge. He finally begged help from the Avengers. The only two that were able to help - there were even bigger threats for the rest of them to handle - were Black Widow and Hawkeye. 

Natasha spent weeks working on leads, while Clint and him scoped things out. When she finally came to them with a fat file of information, she sat down. "We're going to need more firepower." 

Peter looked at the file and then at the hologram she pulled up. "How big is this?" 

"It's international. I've called some contacts in, and they're handling a handful of other locations. We're taking this one." It was a large building, one that took Peter a few moments to place because he was looking at the back instead of the front. "This is that new hotel over on fifth, isn't it? The one that's still under construction?" 

Clint was walking around the hologram, probably using his weirdo skills to judge where the air vents were. Natasha nodded. "Yeah, but it looks like it's not just under construction. There are three basement levels and it looks like they're all completely outfitted. With," Here, her lip curled a little in disgust. "I'd call them showrooms if I didn't know what they were used for. There are individual, sound proof rooms." She looked at Peter. "They're not just trafficking these victims for sex. There are kill rooms." 

Peter felt his stomach lurch. Adding traffickers and kill rooms together left him with a mental image that was far too clear. There were certain breeds of monster that would love to kill and maim their sexual partners. "Let's take them out."

Clint had his phone out when Peter looked at him. "I've called in a friend. He's technically retired, but I'm pretty confident he'll come out of it for this."

He trusted Clint, so he didn't question anything about the decision. Instead, they went about making plans on how to take this ring down. 

The whole situation left him with a sour taste in his mouth, one that he wanted to erase with talking to Wade. Instead, when he got a chance to look at his phone, he had a message telling him that Wade was going to be incognito for a few days and he'd be back before he knew it. 

Now how was he supposed to chill out before the mission?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so wonky with posting. I've had an eventful week or two.

Talking with Peter was probably the highlight of his day, aside from the second he picked up Ellie from school. The way she hugged him so tight, even though her friends were watching and she was getting to that age where she was too cool for hugs, it just set every one of his broken pieces together again. 

But when Clint called and asked him to don the suit again, he couldn't say no. Not when he knew the situation. Wade wasn't one of those hero types, he was fully aware that there was more evil in the world than he could ever handle and didn't drop it all on his shoulders when he couldn't fix it. But traffickers in his neighborhood? Traffickers taking young people and selling them off for sex and murder? That needed to end. All he could think was what would happen if they went after Ellie? And no one would be allowed to hurt Ellie. Better to take them out now. 

He made sure Al was good with watching Ellie for a few days and then he packed his bags. It sucked that he wouldn't be able to talk to Peter, but he couldn't afford the distraction. He needed to be on top of his game. 

They set up a time to meet up outside of the hotel, and Wade was late because Dopinder was a magnificent dunce of a creature and went to the wrong place first. By the time he showed up, waltzing up the fire escape of the hotel across the street with two murder bags, everyone else was gathered. "Oh. Em. Gee." He couldn't stop the excitement. "Spiderman and Black Widow?! I have at least six fantasies that start out this way. Please tell me it's the orgy one." 

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Why didn't I guess that the one Clint called in was you?" Still, she smiled and stood up, punching him lightly on the arm. "How's things? Haven't seen you in at least a decade." 

Wade dropped his bags and stretched, glad he'd stayed in shape the last five years because leather did not stretch the way spandex did. "Oh, great. Got out of the game for personal reasons, but Hawkeye knows my sweet spot. So here I am, ready to kick some ass and save the day." Clint knew who he was under the mask, and he knew more than that. He owned the building Wade and Ellie lived in, and he was over usually once a week with his dog and pizza to watch movies with them. Natasha probably knew the same things, since she had some kind of wonder twins power with Clint and she was also Black Widow and freakishly good at finding things out. 

Spiderman, though, didn't. And Wade wasn't about to go spilling his secrets in front of him, even if he had a bit of a hero crush on him. And a regular crush because that booty be banging. 

"Uh, who is this?" Spiderman didn't sound angry or anything, just confused. Which probably meant he trusted Clint to not drop a villain in their midst, but he'd also completely skipped introductions. 

Wade was a little offended that the guy didn't know who he was until he remembered that Spiderman had only been active about six years now, and Wade hadn't really worked in New York for the last two years he was working. They'd never had a chance to brush arms, and he'd stopped being news after he retired. "Deadpool, _mi araña_, at your service." He bowed, doing his best impression of a Renaissance court dandy and wishing he'd remembered to grab his feathered hat for just this purpose. 

"Hi." Spidermans voice sounded a little confused, but also amused. "Spiderman. It's nice to meet you." He stuck his hand out to shake. 

Deadpool grabbed it, but instead of shaking it like he knew was intended, he bent over it and kissed it. "A more glorious flower has never been seen. You are the red and blue epitome of perfection." 

Spiderman laughed and tugged his hand away. "Well, thank you. You're not so bad yourself." 

"Yeah. Okay. Quit the flirting and get your asses over here." Clint and Natasha were gathered around a desk looking at a Stark pad. When the other two joined them, Natasha started going through the blueprints of the other hotel. 

They spent nearly an hour deciding the best approach to it. Most of the activity was located in the three sub basements, but they couldn't just go down there and risk the chance of people being upstairs. And they couldn't go from top to bottom alone because it would allow people the chance to escape. So, they were splitting up. 

Natasha and Wade would go in the bottom, while Spiderman and Clint took the top. After the plan was decided, they all got their gear ready. Unsurprisingly, it was Wade that took the longest. He was still strapping on weapons when Spiderman stood in front of him and rested his hands on his hips. "So… Why so many weapons?" 

"Because bullets aren't infinite, babe. Gotta have backup for when it's too dicey to reload." Wade winked at him, though he doubted even his mask picked up on all of it. 

"You're going to kill them?!" Spidermans voice creaked on the question. 

Wade sighed and unstrapped his gun from his thigh. "The swords are for killing, but I promise they'll only come out if they have to. The guns, though?" He moved his fingers expertly until the magazine popped out and he could show what was inside. The bullets were bright blue. "Rubber bullets. Not saying I can't kill someone with them, since I'm fucking Riddick and could kill someone with a tea cup, but that's not the ultimate goal. I got some people in my life that would be unhappy if I went around all murder happy like I used to be." Ellie, of course, and now Peter. They'd talked about his past as a mercenary, though without any details about how good he'd been at it or that it was a whole other persona. Peter was not happy about the killing and seemed happy that Wade had put that behind him. And Wade didn't want to disappoint him. 

Spiderman visibly relaxed at that. "That's great, Deadpool." He set his hand on his shoulder. "These people need to go to prison to pay, not get the easy way out." 

Wade could tell him that, if they were determined and connected enough, they could very well continue running this whole thing from prison. Spiderman had just outed himself as very young because that level of blind trust in the justice system was sweet, and completely misguided. That was a discussion for another day, though, so he just nodded and finished putting away his weapons. 

Once they were all ready, they made their out to start their fight. Clint climbed onto Spidermans back and they they webbed up to the top of the hotel. Natasha and Wade moved to the basement access door, each of them with guns loaded. 

Time to get some traffickers.


	8. Chapter 8

The whole thing took a few hours, and Peter was more sore than he'd been even when he first started the whole Spiderman thing, but they had a few vans full of villains and were ready to just relax now. 

Of course, relaxing meant eating. Peter didn't know what was up with Natasha, but he personally thought she had a bastardized version of the super soldier serum that Captain Rogers and then Bucky Barnes had received. Since he didn't want to end up dead, there was no way in hell he was ever asking. That meant at least two of them had a super metabolism, and then there was Clint, who was a bottomless pit. From the way Deadpool was eating the massive amount of Chinese they'd ordered, he could easily fit into either category. 

There probably would have been silence while they ate, but Peter was learning that Deadpool didn't do quiet. He made obscene sounds while he ate, or told stories with his mouth full. Natasha even helped on a few, which made Peter wonder how close they'd been before. Sometimes, Clint would have his mouth full and he'd sign something that had the other two cracking up. It made Peter jealous, and he resolved to take a sign language course next semester. 

That should have been the end of it. Deadpool was retired, Natasha and Clint had way too much to do with the whole Avenger-ing, and Peter was a small fry hero, used to being alone. 

Except, a week later, he was sitting on a rooftop, listening for crime on a quiet night, when he heard an ear piercing whistle. Rubbing his ear to soothe the ache, he looked around. Two blocks away, there was a large, dark silhouette, enthusiastically waving their arms. It was obvious the person wanted his attention, so he swung over. He grinned under his mask when he got close enough to see it was Deadpool. He'd been just far enough away that he couldn't see the katanas. "Hey, Deadpool. What's up?" 

"Senpai noticed us!" Deadpool put his hands to his cheeks and jumped a couple times. It made Peter laugh. After a few seconds, Deadpool put his hand on his hip, gesturing with the other at god knows what. "Oh, you know. Was in the neighborhood. Figured I could hang out with the resident web slinger and stop some crimes." 

Peter tilted his head. "Weren't you retired?" 

A large, extremely over dramatic sigh came after that. "Oh, I was. But then Hawkeye asked for me to come and save the day and I slipped into this sexy number," He trailed his hands down his chest in a seductive move, making Peter swallow. He was just glad his mask would cover the blush. Deadpool was _built_ "And it was like the first sip of water on a hot day. I just can't say no anymore. And since I don't want to do the unaliving thing anymore, what with the disappointed loved ones and all, I thought to myself, how am I going to keep the suit on? And it hit me. Maybe that was a brick, though?" Scratching his head comically, he finally shook his head. "Brick, idea, whatever. I figured I could be a vigilante! And who better to teach me than you?" 

Peter blinked a few times and then set his hand on his hip, the other pointing at him seriously. "No killing, or serious maiming." When Deadpool held up three fingers in a Boy Scout salute, he nodded. "All right. You've got yourself a partner in crime." He stopped for a second. "A partner in crime _stopping_." That set off another round of jumping and squealing from the black and red clad man. 

It was a quiet night, which was good, because there was a learning curve. After Peter lost Deadpool on the way to a carjacking, they decided the best bet was to have him ride the other around. It wasn't a problem, _technically_, because of his super strength. But Peter found himself having to think about cold showers and the one time he'd seen Aunt May naked to keep his body from reacting. He was a college student with no time for casual hookups, even with his hand. Having a very fit, very attractive body pressed against his back wasn't treating him well. 

There was also the problem of how they fought. Deadpool was very much a 'run in with guns blazing' type, while Peter preferred to observe and sneak in. After an attempted assault and a robbery, they figured it out. Deadpool came in, all quips and well placed bullets, and then Peter would drop in and web them all up nice and snug. 

Afterward, when dawn was just an hour away, they stopped on a roof with tacos from a truck that Deadpool swore was the best in the city. After Peter involuntarily moaned around his first mouthful, he had to agree. "So, Spidey, what's in your life? The no details version, since you got that super secret identity." 

Peter swallowed down his too big mouthful and then shrugged. "I'm pretty boring. College. Friends. Spiderman." 

Deadpool stared at him. "Wow. That really was the no details version." 

Peter laughed and shrugged again. "What about you?" 

"Oh, same. College. Friends. Spiderman." He laughed and then shook his head. "Nah, just work, family, that whole thing. I guess I can add Deadpool-ing to the list now." 

"Family?" Peter wasn't sure what the mess of emotions in his chest was at the thought of Deadpool being a family man. He resolved to ignore it. 

Deadpool laid back on the roof, pillowing his head on his crossed arms. "Yeah. I have a kid." 

Peter nodded, but wasn't sure how to continue. Usually, it would be polite to ask questions, but there were secret identities involved which made the opposite true. "You've found your soulmate, then?" 

"Eh. Maybe." 

"What do you mean, maybe?" Peter assumed he'd had the kid with his soulmate. That made sense, didn't it? 

Deadpool looked over at him. "What? Are you one of those people that believe in waiting for your soulmate to do anything at all?" 

Blushing, Peter shook his head. "I mean, not _everything_. And not forever, you know? I think I might have found mine, but I'm not going to like wait forever if they turn out not to be. That's ridiculous." 

Deadpool snorted. "Well, if the person I think might be my soulmate actually is, I'd have waited a very long time. There's a bit of an age gap." He shook his head. "And I wouldn't change my kid for the world. Truly special kid, let me tell you." 

Peter nodded and then felt his phone vibrate. "Alright, DP, I've got to head home." He stood up and stretched. "I'll see you around."


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, swear to God, yall, I haven't forgotten this story. My life, however, has been absolutely bonkers the last few weeks. I'm hoping posting this chapter will kick me into gear again so I can get back to writing. 
> 
> Give me comments to spur me on!

Wade knew damn well that he shouldn't put the suit on again. The whole thing was supposed to be a one and done. And yet, here he sat, six weeks down the road, eating pizza on a roof with Spiderman. They'd gotten to the point where they were comfortable with each other, talking about issues with each other and giving advice. There still weren't any details, though. Wade had no idea where he went to school or how things were with his potential soulmate besides 'its good, he's really funny and smart'. 

He also hadn't told Spiderman a lot of his details. He didn't even know that his kid was a girl. But he did know that they liked the same creamer, they both enjoyed making fun of hipsters, and that Spiderman had the nicest everything that could possibly be had. 

Smile? Check. Laugh? Check. Booty? Double check. 

Wade found himself conflicted. On the one hand, he'd love to ask Spiderman out on a date. They really got along and he looked forward to every second they spent together, even when he got stabbed in the jugular and then almost got his ass kicked for not telling Spiderman that he can't really die. He might have more than just a hero crush. 

But then there was Peter. And god, that kid. He was amazing. He was so incredibly smart and had the biggest eyes known to man. He was witty and charming and just the right amount of awkward so he didn't make Wade feel self conscious. 

It was a conundrum. 

"Hey, DP?" 

"Hm?" Wade wiped grease from his fingers and looked over at the hero. "What's up?" The kid was twisting a napkin to shreds in his gloved hands. 

Spiderman was quiet for a little while longer. Just when Wade was about to poke him or something, he turned to him. "Are you scared of meeting your soulmate?" 

Wade tilted his head. "That's a weird question, baby boy." 

He snorted and then shrugged before going back to destroying the napkin. "I just mean, like, I've been talking to him on SoulFind. And so far, it's been like really, really great. But I want a romantic partnership and what if I meet him and we don't click that way?" 

Blinking, Wade nodded. "I think that's something everyone worries about. I mean, not everyone. There are plenty of aro people that would be worrying about the exact opposite, but you're not aro so we'll discuss that another time." He tapped his fingers on his knees as he thought about how to answer the question. Spiderman didn't usually get so serious, so he knew he couldn't answer with jokes like he usually would. "Well, let's say you do meet him and there isn't any chemistry. Are you going to ghost him?" It wasn't completely unheard of for soulmates to choose not to have anything to do with each other, though it was rare. 

"What? No! Of course not. Even if we couldn't be together that way, I'd want him to be in my life." 

"Then isn't that your answer?"

Silence and complete stillness met his question. And then, Spiderman nodded. "It is, isn't it? Huh." He smiled. "Thanks, Deadpool." He stood up and stretched his mask back over his chin. "I'm going to call it an early night. See you another time." 

Wade waved to him and sat on the rooftop for a few more minutes before getting up and making his way home. He stopped in the safe house down the street from his house to change into his civilian clothes, tucking Deadpool away in a locked closet. As he left the building and walked the couple of blocks to his apartment, he felt his phone vibrate. When he saw Peter's name pop up, he smiled and quickly opened the message. 

_So we've been talking for a while and I was wondering if you'd want to meet up?_   
_I mean, if you want. No pressure!_   
_It's totally cool if you don't want to. Just talking is cool, too. Completely awesome._   
_Sorry, I'm like super nervous??_

Wade smiled at his phone and tucked it into his pocket. He had to figure out how to respond to that in a way that didn't make him sound like a crazy person. 

He waited until he checked on Ellie and let Al go home, then changed into his pajamas and laid in bed. He stared at the message, noting that the dot by Peter's name was grey. It made him feel a little better, like he had some time to figure it out. 

After staring at it, fingers hovering over the keyboard, for five minutes, he rolled his eyes. "Fuck it." His tongue slipped out of the corner of his mouth as he typed. _Oh megod. Yes. Double yes. Mother fucking quadruple yes. Let's fucking do it. I am so down that I wouldn't care if we agreed to meet up right the fuck now. Except it's two am."_

He fell asleep with a smile on his face. When he woke up, he had a few messages. The first one was exactly sixteen exclamation points. The second was a smiling emoji and a heart eyes emoji. The third was asking when and where they could meet up. Wade got Ellie all ready for school and then dropped her off. When he got to the shop, he checked his calendar and figured out that Saturday afternoon would work for them to meet up, since Ellie and Vanessa had their monthly girls day planned. He was a little worried about how much money he was going to be out by the end of the day, but he decided that he didn't really care. He was going to be meeting Peter!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, to be fair. I have been dying for the last week of some plague-like sickness my daughter brought home from preschool.
> 
> And ALSO!  
I totally posted this chapter already but apparently ao3 didn't actually let it happen. Totally explains why I didn't get any comments or anything.
> 
> So, you know, here it is for real.

Peter sat with his legs hanging over the ledge of a building. He kicked his feet and tapped his fingers, an excess of nervous energy running through his body. He wasn't sure what he was doing here, because he was pretty sure he was too hopped up to actually be useful in stopping any crimes, but he also knew he couldn't just sit at home. He'd go insane. Tomorrow couldn't come fast enough, but he also needed it to never come. 

God, he was going to throw up if he kept thinking about meeting Wade. 

The delightfully out of tune words of Gwen Stefani's Hollaback Girl met his ears and he grinned. He slung down to the ground, landing in front of Deadpool. "Hey!"

"Oh, Spidey! You're around!" Deadpool walked up beside him and turned him around so they were facing the same way, his arm settled on his shoulders. "Any crimes to stop? I could really get behind breaking someone's face." 

Peter shook his head. "Nothing I've heard yet." He was distracted, but he didn't think he'd be so distracted that he wouldn't pick up on some crime going down. Hopefully, anyway. 

"Damn."

"Why so important?" Peter looked at him, but even Deadpool's weirdly expressive mask wasn't really giving him a read on the guy. 

Deadpool shrugged. "Just a little nervous. Need to work off some energy." 

Peter sighed. "Me, too." 

Suddenly, it was like a steel vice was around his shoulders and he stopped. "I just had the greatest idea in the world. No, the _universe_!" 

Now he was nervous for an entirely different reason. "And that would be..?" 

Instead of answering like a normal person, Deadpool covered his eyes with his hands. "One, two, three." Peter didn't move, so he pulled his hands away and then set them on his hips. "We can't play hide and seek if you don't go hide, silly." 

"Oh, that's what we're doing. I would have known that if you would have _said so_." Covering his eyes again, Deadpool started counting and Peter swung away, looking for a good hiding spot. He found a roof with a broken access door and hid in the corner of it, crouched down so he wouldn't be easy to spot. Then, he waited. 

About ten minutes later, Deadpool joined him on the roof, though Peter only knew by the sound of gravel crunching under his feet before he started talking. "I know you're on this roof, Spidey. It's the only one with any places to hide. I bet you're over here!" His voice raised and shifted away from him, causing Peter to give a silent snort. He was probably looking behind the central air boxes. "Well, damn. I always win at hide and seek at home." His voice got closer and Peter felt himself smiling widely under his mask. "Where could the little spider be?" Suddenly, his voice was above him, and Peter glanced through the doorway to see his feet hanging three feet off the ground. Had he jumped and held himself up? That was a lot of arm strength. 

That was also something he didn't need to be thinking about when he was meeting someone that was probably his soulmate tomorrow. 

Thinking fast, Peter bolted out of the doorway, launching himself at the edge and preparing to sling a web and run off. Instead, he got a few feet from the edge when a massive weight dropped onto him, rolling him over. "Gotcha!" They rolled over a few times and then they landed with Peter under Deadpool and what looked like a manic grin on both their faces. "Spidey, Spidey, Spidey. What am I going to do with you? You can't run from hide and seek." 

Peter was laughing, he couldn't help it. "I figured I'd liven up the game. The only people that like hide and seek are under the age of ten." 

"Lies!" Deadpool's hands moved and suddenly, Peter was being tickled. His laughter took on a desperate edge and he wiggled, trying to get away from him half heartedly. He could, if he wanted, with his strength. But he didn't really want to. 

When the tickling finally stopped, his abs hurt from laughing so much and he needed to pick up his mask so he could breathe a little easier. Deadpool lifted his, too, a smile on his lips visible even through the darkness around them. Peter's eyes were glued to it as his laughter died. They were actually really close. 

The air felt charged as the sat in silence, until Deadpool got up. "I should probably go. Got plans for tomorrow." 

Peter nodded and watched him pull his mask down again. Then, he left the roof, leaving Peter to sit for a few moments and hold his head in his hands. He definitely, really liked Wade, but he couldn't deny a magnetic connection to Deadpool. How was he supposed to balance the two?


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I made you guys (accidentally) wait so long, I'll post another.
> 
> Ayyy

Wade woke up and was practically silent. Since Vanessa knew what was going on, she teased him mercilessly the entire time she drank coffee while Ellie packed up for their day together. She'd come prepared to have Ellie stay the night, which would have been sweet if she hadn't followed it up with moving her loose fist in front of her mouth and sticking her tongue in her cheek as soon as Ellie turned her back. 

If he didn't want to see Ellie graduate school, he'd have murdered her and happily gone to prison for the rest of his life. 

First of all, there was no guarantee that they would be having sex tonight. Second of all, Vanessa had no right putting the idea in his head when she knew damn well he hadn't gotten laid in six months. His hand was great and all, but nowhere near as good as a tight little - 

"Wade, no." 

"What was that, dear?" Vanessa smiled at him, tapping her purple painted nails against her chin. 

Wade glared. "Nothing." 

Thankfully, Ellie burst out of her room before his 'friend' could reply. "I'm ready! Let's go!" 

"Whoa, did you leave anything in your bedroom?" The small girl had a giant duffel bag that looked suspiciously like the one he used for missions that usually sat in his closet. Hopefully she removed the guns. The bag was stuffed full. There was also a backpack, a suitcase on wheels, and her giant stuffed Monkey named Stinky tucked under her arm. Wade wasn't actually sure she didn't grow an extra set of arms to carry it all. 

She smiled at him. "The mattress is still there." 

Wade laughed. When she tried to bolt for the door, he stopped her. He hugged her, but she didn't hug back because she obviously didn't have the arms for it. Then she kissed his cheek. "I love you, my sweet little goose. Make her life a hell for me." 

"Love you, dad." She finished her journey to the door, but had to wait for Vanessa to come open it for her. 

Ellie was out the door before Vanessa turned to him with a wicked grin. "Have fun." She sang it and then left. 

He hadn't wanted Ellie to know he was going on a date. She'd get excited and want to help and, while that was honestly super sweet, he wanted to know that things were going to go well before he told her about it. She'd stopped talking about a step parent a few years ago, but he knew it was still on her mind. 

Now that he was alone, he took a nice long shower. He still didn't think they'd be having sex, but it was better to be prepared and all that. When he was as squeaky clean as a man could be, he stepped out and used the various lotions and creams he needed. His scars weren't too bad, people didn't even look at them all that much, but they needed to be moisturized as much as possible, especially with the weather starting to get cooler. Wade felt like a pampered princess when he walked naked into his bedroom. 

First step, underwear. He found a nice pair of black boxer briefs. They were casual, but they fit nicely and lifted his package just enough to make it seem impressive. Maybe. It could all be wishful thinking, but they were his favorites and he refused to change them now that they were on. 

The whole plan involved them meeting up at a coffee shop and then deciding what to do there. That made it impossible to know what to wear. What if he wore jeans and a sweater and then they decided they wanted to do a fancy dinner? He'd be underdressed. But if he wore dress pants and a button up, he'd be overdressed if they decided to go to a casual dinner. 

Indecision stalled him for at least an hour. He tried on every single thing in his closet, even the unicorn onesie he'd bought with Ellie to match hers. 

It was two when he looked at the clock again. They were meeting at three. "Mother fucking shit snacks." He shook his head and then cracked his knuckles. "No more wishy washy. We are making a decision right the fuck now." He grabbed his jeans, a light blue in color since he'd worn them for so long. It meant they were worn in just perfectly, hugging his ass and thighs but not restricting his junk. He pulled them on and then a pair of socks, deciding to put his boots on for good measure. Now it would be a pain to take them off, so he wouldn't want to do it. 

For a shirt, he grabbed a white undershirt and then a dark red button up. He rolled up the sleeves because he was hip, he had a Tumblr. He knew girls liked that. And hopefully other people that were attracted to men. "Damn it, Wade, you do not have time to overthink this." He nodded decisively at himself and went back into the bathroom. 

His hair was easy to style, since it was mostly just a dab of pomade and then rubbing it in and making sure it didn't look like birds nested in it on a normal basis. "Maybe I should grow a beard." Guys looked hot with beards. That was a definite thing he knew. But then he thought about how the hair started to grow out wonky from between his scars and he frowned. No beard was fine, too. He spritzed some cologne and applied his deodorant and then decided he was as good as he was going to get. 

Halfway down the stairs to the ground floor, Wade changed his mind. Maybe he was going to be late, but Vanessa had him paranoid now. He made his way back up to his apartment and then back into his bedroom, quickly gathering all the clothes still spread on the bed and floor and tossed them into the closet. Then, he changed his sheets at the closest to lightning speed as he could. One last quick check into his bedside table had him exhaling in relief. The condoms weren't expired and he had almost a full bottle of lube. He was good, if something did happen. 

Nodding decisively, he left again. There was no turning back this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note, Stinky is based off of my daughter's giant stuffed monkey of the same name.


	12. Chapter 12

Peter was in the middle of a dream. It was a very nice dream, even if it was confusing. Wade had him pressed against a wall and was kissing him and touching all around his body, but every time Peter opened his eyes, he switched. Wade, Deadpool, Wade, Deadpool. Apparently, smart mouths and built bodies were his type. 

A pounding woke him up. He sat up in bed and blinked in confusion at his bedroom door, trying to figure out where the sound was coming from. 

"Peter! Get your ass up and open the door! We brought breakfast!" 

"MJ?" Peter stumbled out of bed in just a pair of underwear, but he was too sleepy to try to get pants on. He'd probably fall and break something. Making his way into the living room, he opened the door and blinked blearily at his friend's. MJ had her arms full of bags from the bagel place around the corner, and Ned had a drink carrier full of what smelled like coffee. Thank God. 

Gwen, though, had him worried. She had a big pink duffel bag on her shoulder. "What are you guys doing here?" 

Gwen rolled her eyes and pushed past him into the apartment, making him stumble into the door. "As if we'd let you get ready to meet your soulmate alone. What kind of friends do you think we are?" 

He groaned and then stepped away so his other, less rude friends could come inside. "I'm an adult, you know. I can dress myself." 

Ned set the coffees down on the counter. "I'm not so sure about that, Captain Underpants." 

Peter flipped him off. Ned had spent the night with him on multiple occasions and knew he never slept in anything but his underwear. It wasn't the first time he'd seen it and it was very unlikely to be the last. 

Gwen and MJ had seen it, too, and usually didn't care. Apparently, today they did. "Peter! What the hell!" 

"What the hell what?" He was too sleepy for this. He hadn't gotten to sleep until far too late, too anxious about today to sleep easy even after his night with Deadpool. Or maybe because of it. Who knew? It was too early. 

MJ came up and poked him, hard, on his arm. "Ow!" He looked at the bruise shed just abused in betrayal. 

"How are you supposed to explain that?" Her eyebrows were doing that judgy thing he hated. 

Peter stuck his lip out and pouted. "Why do you have to be so mean? I'm a hero, you know. I save people." 

"And get bruises that you have to explain to your soulmate when you get naked. Are you going to drop the S bomb right away?" Her hands were now on her hips and her girlfriend was watching with her eyebrows raised. 

He raised his eyebrow. S bomb? He was too sleepy for this. "I'll just tell him I'm clumsy. It's fine." 

"That'll work for a little while, but really only on bruises. What about the next time you get stabbed or shot? Those don't look like clumsy wounds." Ned, at least, wasn't a complete jerk. He came to hand him a coffee and a paper wrapped bagel. 

He sipped the coffee before he responded, because he needed caffeine to soak his brain and get it working again. "I don't know. I'll figure it out if it happens. Before I drop the 'S bomb'." He took his coffee to the couch and set it on the coffee table before he opened up the sandwich. Eggs, bacon, and cheese, all on a cheddar jalapeño bagel with a creamy picante sauce. Is there any better way to start the day? He moaned as he took a giant bite. He had just swallowed when he realized what MJ had said. "And what do you mean, getting naked? We're not going to sleep together tonight. It's the first time we've met!" 

Gwen snorted inelegantly. "Yeah, and you've been talking for how long? And when was the last time you got laid? I feel like if he acts even slightly interested in the idea, you're going to climb him like a tree." 

Peter felt his face burn, but since he wasn't sure she was wrong, he stayed quiet by stuffing his face with the rest of his bagel while they all dug into their own. 

Thankfully, his friends were only assholes, not cruel bastards, and they let him finish his bagel and his coffee before they started torturing him. Gwen disappeared with the bag she'd brought, and he didn't think anything of it until he was unceremoniously shoved into the bathroom and locked in. "Shower!" They all shouted at him. 

He pulled off his underwear and then stepped in after adjusting the temperature. After a few minutes to soak and enjoy the fact that this apartment had a good water heater and stayed warm for the whole time, he looked for his shampoo. And came up empty handed. "What?" 

Arrayed on the shelf in the back of the shower were all new bottles. Instead of his drugstore products, these ones looked nice. They all had that minimalist style going on with their names and brands, and when he smelled them, they definitely smelled better than his own. Sure, coconut was a great smell, but this sandalwood and cinnamon was really, really good. He used all the new products, and if he paid more attention to cleaning his ass than he usually did, no one needed to know. 

The shower wasn't where it all ended. He had different shaving cream, different hair products, and different cologne. He shaved quickly, since he didn't grow thick enough hair to even think about growing anything on his chin. If he tried, he looked like a pubescent boy proud of his first chin hairs. Since he'd lived it once, he had no intentions of living it again at twenty two. 

Someone had snuck into the bathroom while he was showering, because he didn't even have his dirty underwear to put on. Just his towel. Sighing, he wrapped it around his waist and stepped out of the bathroom. "Okay. I'm clean and smell very manly." 

"Perfect." Gwen called from his bedroom. Terrified of what he'd see when he stepped in, he took a deep breath. Then, he pulled his courage around him and pushed the door open. 

Something soft and black hit him in the face. "Put those on." Raising an eyebrow, Peter bent to pick the thing up. Once it was dangling from his finger, he could see that it was a pair of underwear. Technically, he'd say they were boxer briefs, but they were not very large. The legs looked like they'd barely come down enough to be called such, and there was no y front. He looked at Gwen and then MJ, but Ned had his face buried in his hands. "We don't have all day to check your outfit, man. Me and MJ have appointments with our advisors."

Shaking his head, he stepped into the hallway to pull the things on. He might be okay being in his underwear around his friends, but there was no way he was going to be butt naked in front of them if he could help it. He looked down at himself when he had them up, and aside from being mildly uncomfortable because they weren't his usual style, he couldn't actually deny that they were nice. He felt kind of sexy, actually. Of course, there was no way in hell he was admitting that to the wicked witches on his bed right now. They'd be far too smug. 

Back in the room, he was instructed to try on clothes. He felt like that part lasted for hours before MJ and Gwen ordered him to wear specific clothes. It was a pair of jeans that were way too short and a pair of loafer shoes that he hadn't even remembered he had. They also had him in a white shirt and a brown blazer. He nodded and then kissed their cheeks before they left. 

As soon as the door closed behind them, Ned was yanking the jacket off. "You look like an old man trapped in a young man's body." 

"I know! Why do girls think this is fashionable?" Peter started stripping the rest of it off. 

Standing back in his underwear, he was again forced to try on clothes. This time, though, he didn't get out of it. By the time he left the apartment, his hair was stiff with gel he knew Gwen hadn't approved and he was wearing bright blue, loose jeans, and a plain black knit sweater that hung off his skinny frame. Ned left and Peter stuffed clothes into his backpack before he bolted for the coffee shop. He had no time to change again, at least not at home.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright. I'd like to just let you know, this next month is going to probably be all wonky for posting. Holidays and drama and all that, you know. But in want to assure you that I'm still writing and the story will survive. :)
> 
> Also, no more teasing guys. The date is here.

Wade was almost to the coffee shop when he got a message from Peter saying he was going to be a little late. He asked him what kind of coffee he'd like and got a white mocha in response, so Wade ordered as soon as he got in. He waited nervously at a table, sipping his own raspberry white mocha. 

When Peter walked in he.. Looked a little different than he was expecting. As a matter of fact, he looked a hell of a lot dorkier. Peter walked to the table, his face bright red. "I have to go to the bathroom. I'll be right out." 

"Take your time." Wade smiled. 

Fifteen minutes later, he returned. And wow, what a transformation. Gone were the awkwardly bright and loose clothes. He wore a pair of dark blue skinny jeans that Wade was sure made his ass look fantastic, as well as a tee shirt with some science joke on the front, and a black zip up hoodie. His hair was no longer awkwardly stiff, instead a little fluffy and damp, with a slight curl to it. He looked fucking adorable. 

"Sorry. My friends were a little over enthusiastic with helping me get ready today." Peter's blush had faded to a dusty pink, and Wade was a little in love already. 

Wade stared for a moment before he realized the blush was getting darker, probably because he was being a fucking weirdo. "No, no problem. You look great. Like, really, really, _really_ great."

Peter blushed again and fidgeted with his coffee cup. "Thanks. You look good, too." 

There was an awkward silence while Wade tried to manhandle his brain into working properly again. They always had shit to say to each other when they were texting! Why couldn't he figure out something to say now? Spidermans words from the other night hit him and he worried about chemistry. What if Peter thought he wasn't interested? He was! Very much so. 

"So -" 

"What -" 

They laughed as they cut each other off. Wade gestured for him to continue and Peter smiled as he nodded. "So, uh, what do you want to do?" 

Wade chuckled and shrugged. "I don't really have a plan. Whatever sounds good." 

Peter bit his lip for a second before he took a sip of his coffee. Then, the smile brightened at him. "Well, it's not too cold out yet. Want to go walk around and see if anything catches our eye?" 

"Yeah, that sounds great." Really, it would give him a way to get out some nervous energy. Maybe he'd be able to think then. When Peter smiled at him again, though, he wasn't so sure. The expression seemed to fry his brain. 

They got up and left the coffee shop, turning right and walking easily along. "So, you work at a tattoo shop. How is that? Like, you've told me some weird stories, but what's your favorite thing about it?" 

Wade had to think. "I work with my best friend, even if she's an evil harpy of a woman. So that's cool. I really like the chance to be creative." He gestured with his hands, slipping coffee over his fingers, thankfully on the side away from Peter. "Shit." Peter laughed and handed him a napkin from his backpack. "Thanks." He cleaned it up and then tried to remember where he was again. "Oh. It sucks when people come in with like some shit they printed off the internet. Like, where's the passion? Where's the flair?" 

Peter tilted his head. "I've always wanted a spider tattoo." 

Wade blinked and looked at him. "Just like a spider in general or..?" 

"A Steatoda nobilis, specifically." 

He nodded and let out an interested hum for good measure. 

"You have no idea what that is, do you?" 

"Not a fucking clue." Wade grinned at him and felt that heat in his brain when Peter returned it. 

"It's a Noble False Widow." Peter grinned and shrugged. "Nerdy, but I think they're really cool." 

Wade smiled and nodded. "I can see it. I'm just glad you didn't say you wanted a death star." Peter pushed his shoulder and wow, for such a tiny guy, he was strong. 

They walked around the city, Peter telling him little things he knew about various places and showing him his favorite bits of street art. Their coffees were long gone by the time they were passing someplace very familiar to Wade. "Hey, Petey. You ever shot a gun?" 

Peter looked at him and shook his head. "This isn't the point where you say you're a serial killer and that you want me to be your apprentice, is it? Because you're hot, and maybe you're my soulmate, but I have to draw the line somewhere." 

Wade chuckled. "No. This is the gun range I go to. It could be fun." 

"Why not?" Peter smiled and started toward the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, sorry for people that left me comments that I didn't get to answer for so long. For some reason I didn't get any of the emails? So I didn't even know I had them.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm here. I'm alive. I'm half dead, but I'm alive!
> 
> Just started writing chapter 21. 😅

Peter wasn't sure how he felt about going to the gun range. He wasn't really into the whole weapons thing, since he didn't really see a reason for them besides killing and he was very strongly against that. An image of Deadpool shooting a would-be rapist in the knee with a bright blue rubber bullet crossed his mind. Well, maybe they weren't so bad. 

Besides, he wanted to partake in Wade's passions and it was obvious he loved weapons from all of their conversations. And it was a gun range. They'd be shooting at paper targets, not real people. He could do this, no problem. 

Apparently, Wade kept guns here. The two of them were ushered into a locker room by a man that obviously knew Wade, asking him about his most recent weapons purchases and about Ellie. Wade used the key he'd been given to open a rather large locker, one of the biggest in the room, and then gestured inside with jazz hands. Since Peter knew nothing about guns, he didn't really know what the differences were between them, or how impressive they surely were. Instead, his eyes were drawn to two guns in the corner. They were standard shape, he thought, but they both had that oil slick look to them, with the purple and blue and gold that shifted with the light. One was large, and one was small. "Uh?" He pointed at them. 

Wade's face split into a wide grin. "Those? That's Xenophillius, and that's Luna." He pointed at the bigger and then the smaller at each name. 

It took Peter a second to place the reference. "The Lovegood's? From Harry Potter?" 

"Yep. Me and Ellie bought them for her eighth birthday." He smiled at the guns like they were cute little puppies or something. It was weird, of course, but also kind of endearing. 

Peter smiled at him. "Why do I have a feeling that Ellie could kick my ass with her hands tied behind her back?" 

"Because she could, without chipping her pretty pink nail polish." Wade grinned, though his face took on a bit of a hard edge. "Ain't nobody going to hurt my baby girl." 

The fierce protectiveness on his face should have been intimidating, but that wasn't what Peter was feeling. He thought it was attractive, how much he obviously loved his daughter and wanted to keep her safe. Even if his methods were probably a little more extreme than most parents. He couldn't say for sure since he didn't exactly have a lot of experience with parents. He also wondered what it would feel like to be inside that protection. He was Spiderman, he wasn't anything close to helpless, but the idea of someone wanting to protect him that much? He liked it. 

Clearing his throat, he nodded. "Okay. Which of these things am I going to use?" 

Wade tapped at his chin with his finger, obviously going over the case. "You ever use a flamethrower?" 

"What?!" Peter stared into the case, but there wasn't anything that looked flamethrower-y to him. 

Wade laughed. "Just kidding. You can use Blanche." He pulled out a gun, not overly large or intimidating, and handed it to him, butt first. 

Peter took it, frowning when it felt heavier than he expected. He'd never actually had a gun in his hands. When he came across them as Spiderman, he usually webbed them away or down to something, never grabbing them with his hands. "This is unloaded, right?" 

Wade snorted. "Of course. You don't keep loaded guns in the locker. You don't even keep ammo here. You have to buy it from the range worker." 

Okay, that seemed safe. He'd never really taken much interest in gun ranges, but now that he thought about it, it made sense that they had such intense safety practices. 

"Okay, so since it's practically impossible to do this out there and you can only have the ammo when you're there, I'm going to give you a rundown of what we're doing out there so you can do this." Peter watched intently as he explained how the ammo worked and how he'd be loading the gun. He showed him the different stances to get a good shot and how to sight, explaining not to close an eye. Peter felt reasonably confident in not destroying his dignity with it by the time they were done. 

After he made his own selection, Wade locked it all back up and then took them into another room. This was the type of thing he'd seen on TV. There were other people shooting on the other side of the glass, and by how 'quiet' it was, he assumed the glass was soundproofed. It didn't work completely on him, but he figured that was the best he was going to get. He was going to be leaving here with a headache, he could tell. 

By the time he looked back at Wade, he had four boxes of what he assumed were ammo, and two pairs of headphones. Peter smiled when he looked at him, but Wade didn't smile back, just narrowed his eyes. "Do you have sensitive hearing?" 

Peter blinked at him. How did he know? "Uh, yeah. Why?" 

"You're flinching. Just a second." He turned back to the guy behind the counter and came back with a little tiny box. When he opened it, it was full of wax. "Some people can still hear too much with the ear protectors." his fingers worked the wax until it was warm and malleable, then he gestured at Peter's ear. He turned toward him and Wade started pressing it into his ear. It felt a little weird, but everything got gratifyingly muffled afterward. When he slipped the headphones on over his ears as well, he couldn't hear a thing. It would probably change when they got into the actual shooting area, but he figured it would be quiet enough he'd be okay. Instead of embarrassing himself by shouting at Wade, he smiled and gave him a double thumbs up. 

Wade grinned and then put his own headphones on, then led them to their own area. He watched as Peter loaded the gun, going slow as he remembered everything he'd told him in the locker room and looking up at Wade every now and then to be sure he wasn't screwing up. When Wade gestured toward the target at the end of the range, Peter tried to make his body move into the right stance. He felt stupid and awkward. 

Then, there was a warm hand on his hip, adjusting the way he rested his weight. It moved up to his arms, settling them a little lower than he'd had them. Peter felt warmth flood his entire body as he felt the weight of Wade against his back. Thankfully, he didn't stay there long, otherwise his dick would start getting involved. Instead, he gestured for Peter to shoot. 

After he fired all the bullets he'd loaded, Wade pressed a button and his target started coming toward them. What he saw on it wasn't very impressive at all. There were three shots actually on the grey silhouette. One in the shoulder, one near the hip, and another grazing off what would be the cheek. The rest were on the white parts, almost half of them only partial holes as they rushed mostly past the target. Wade had his fingers brushing over his chin like a serious professor. As the inspection grew comedically longer, Peter started giggling. Finally, like he was pronouncing the winner of the Nobel prize, he rocked his flat hand side to side in a so-so gesture.

Peter had a full on fit of the giggles. 

Wade smiled at him before he loaded his own gun expertly. Then, he turned to the side, his arm straight toward the target, and started firing one handed. Each shot was a muffled pop in Peter's ear, one after the other, none of the hesitation Peter had had. When he flicked the button and it came close, it looked like there had only been one bullet, and it went straight through the heart part of the target. 

See, the thing was, Peter didn't like violence. He thought it was a necessary evil, something he had to do to help people and stop criminals. He didn't think it was a good thing, though. 

But that was hot as hell. Wade was so good at this! 

Peter's jaw was dropped when he looked at Wade. The man in question just smiled and then gestured for Peter to load his gun again. 

The second round went a little better. He got five shots into the silhouette this time, though he still went slow as he had to remind himself not to close one eye every time he shot. Wade's target had a heart in bullet holes when he was done. 

They were done after that. Wade returned their supplies and then cleaned his gun, explaining the process to Peter when he asked. Once they were locked back up, they left. "You did pretty good for your first time." 

Peter snorted. "Yeah, okay." 

"No, I'm serious. A lot of people can't even hit the target first time." Wade bumped their shoulders together. "Underneath that adorable, nerdy exterior, you've got some natural athleticism." 

Grinning, Peter turned to him. Before he could speak, though, a loud growling came from his stomach. They stared at each other for a moment before they both started laughing. When they finally calmed down, Wade held out his arm like a Victorian gentleman. "Might I have the pleasure of taking you to dinner?" 

Peter smiled brightly and tucked his arm into his. "I'd like that."


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. Hello. Yes, I have not forgotten.  
But holidays make me want to commit a murder or commit myself. So... 
> 
> :)

Wade knew that the date should be coming to a close. Who spent more than a few hours on a first date? But he didn't want it to end, and it seemed that Peter agreed, since they were on their way to dinner. Since Wade had chosen their last destination, Peter got to pick where they were having dinner. 

They ended up outside of a tiny little place that didn't look like much. Wade, though, was a connoisseur. He knew a good place when he smelled one. This one had the absolutely fantastic smells of garlic and roasted tomatoes coming out of it. Inside, it just got better. There was a homey feel to the slightly mismatched decorating, but almost every table was full. It wouldn't be that full if it wasn't as good as the smells promised it would be. 

They were sat down as soon as an older man saw Peter. He turned out to be the owner, and he had a short conversation with Peter about some people they seemed to know. When the man walked away, promising to send the best waitress they'd ever have to take their orders as well as a bottle of wine on the house, Wade raised his eyebrow at his date. "Is he like your long lost grandfather or something?" 

Peter laughed. "He may as well be. I've been coming here since I moved in with my aunt and uncle. So I guess when I was five?" 

Wade smiled and nodded. They'd talked about their families, how Peter had lost his parents when he was young and had been raised by his aunt and uncle. They'd discussed his own shitty childhood, though it hadn't gotten detailed beyond 'not good, not good at all'. "So how is your aunt? Last you told me, she was trying to transfer to pediatric nursing." 

The way this guy's eyes lit up were going to kill him. "Oh, she managed. She's been there for about a week now. She loves it." 

They talked some more, and Wade was honestly amazed. How were they not running out of conversation? Wasn't that something that happened? 

When their food came, it came with two extra plates, empty ones. Wade was confused until Peter chuckled. "Sorry, me and Aunt May do this thing where we split our food with each other. We don't have to if you don't want." 

"You're saying, I get to eat my lasagna and your chicken marsala? Hell yes. Let's do it." He started splitting his food down the middle while Peter did the same. They each dug in, drinking water and wine as they worked their way steadily through a seemingly endless number of breadsticks and their food. Afterward, Wade felt pleasantly full. 

Peter was twisting his water glass and smiling as he listened to Wade talk about the latest coup Ellie had pulled on her math teacher. Wade found himself mesmerized by the way the light hit his face. This guy was his soulmate? What the hell good thing did he do in a past life to deserve that? He was gorgeous and funny and terrifyingly smart. Wade wasn't near good enough for him, but he wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. He was selfish and he was going to hold on as hard as he could. 

"Hey. What do you say to some nightcaps? I know a place." Wade tried to smile convincingly. "It's a shitty place, don't get me wrong, but I know the owner so I get cheap drinks and I can make sure you don't get mugged." 

Laughing, Peter shook his head. "Why not? I don't have any plans for the night." 

Wade grinned and then got up to use the restroom. Before that, though, he stopped to pay for the dinner. He had a feeling that Peter would be one of those types to insist on paying his half and Wade didn't want him to. He wanted to treat him. He didn't seem to get enough of that, in his opinion.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So holidays are hell and my health is falling apart, as usual. But I'm trying really hard to get myself back in the swing of things and posting again.
> 
> Hope you like the chapter!

Peter had in no way planned for this date to last this long, but he wasn't complaining. He was having a lot of fun with Wade. As a matter of fact, he'd been trying to come up with ways to extend it. Coffee? People did coffee after dinner. He'd have to get decaf because he was going to have to sleep at some point, but he didn't care. 

Wade to the rescue, though. Drinks. That was a fantastic option. Peter waited for Wade to be in the bathroom for a few minutes before he got up to pay the bill. The hostess informed him the bill and a good tip had already been taken care of, though. 

He was shaking his head with a smile when Wade came out of the bathroom. "You paid." 

"Guilty." Wade grinned at him and then offered his arm again. After Peter took it, he kept talking. "I have to do nice things or you might run away screaming as soon as you see the dive bar I'm taking you to." 

"As if. I'm just happy to hang with you for longer." Peter smiled even wider when he saw the large grin split Wade's face. 

They walked to the bar, since it wasn't far, but the buildings got more and more run down as they went. Peter wasn't scared, though. He was Spiderman and he had a former mercenary on his arm. They'd be just fine. When they got to where they were going, Peter almost kept walking before Wade turned him toward some beat up steps leading down to a metal door. It certainly didn't look like a bar to him. The only thing that told him it wasn't abandoned were the massive amounts of spent cigarettes on the ground and the fading words 'Sister Margaret's School for Wayward Girls' written on the door. 

When Wade opened the door, he was hit by the smell of beer and the sound of balls clicking together and talking. So it really was a bar. Inside, it was dim, and before his eyes got adjusted to it, he heard people shouting Wade's name. One voice rang out above the others. "Well if it isn't the Scarred Wonder himself. I thought you were too good for this place?" 

"I am, Weasel. But it's cheap so I figured I'd come around anyway." Wade pulled Peter toward the bar, where he could see a man with curly hair and thick glasses cleaning the bar. It didn't look very effective because it looked sticky to him. 

Weasel snorted. "Cheap ass merc. Always trying to drink me out of stock." It seemed to just be banter, though, because by the time they both sat on the stools, there were drinks in front of them. Peter wasn't the best at alcohol, since he tended to just drink cheap wine with the girls or way too sweet mixed drinks when they went out, but he thought this might be whiskey in his glass. He took a hesitant sip and then cleared his throat at the sting. "So, Wade, who is this? It's like you don't have any fucking manners." 

"This is my date, Peter." Wade smiled, possibly about to go on more when he was interrupted. 

"You brought a fucking date to this shit hole?" Weasel tossed his dirty rag at his face. "What the fuck is wrong with you? There's zero chance of a second date now, and an even lower chance of you getting laid." 

Peter turned bright pink, but he cleared his throat. "Isn't that up to me?" 

Weasel looked at him for a second. "You're saying you'd sleep with this fucker? After he brought you here?" 

Blushing, Peter tried to remain serious. "Well, _that's_ none of your business. I'm not saying I'd be averse to a can of Lysol being used, and I'm pretty happy I have some hand sanitizer in my bag, but it's got a certain kind of charm to it."

Weasel snorted and Wade beamed, putting his arm around Peter." Yeah, Weas. I'm not so bad."

They stayed for a few hours, just talking and drinking. Peter was a little wobbly when they decided to call it a night. Wade walked Peter back to his apartment, and then to his door. Peter had no idea who moved first, but suddenly their lips were attached. Peter felt heat thrum through his body as Wade's hand slipped beneath his shirt and up over his ribs. 

"Oh, my god." Wade pulled away a bit, laying their foreheads together. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I can't do this right now."

Peter chuckled. "I was thinking the same thing. My friends would _not_ stop talking about us sleeping together and now I feel like there's too much pressure." 

"Exactly!" Wade pulled back and smiled. 

Smiling at each other, they exchanged one more kiss. And then, Peter let himself into his apartment, and Wade made his way back to the elevator. The whole time he got ready for bed, he couldn't keep a smile off his face.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you ever been thrown from a boat unexpectedly and you can't quite tell which way is up and sometimes you get air on your face but it's only just enough for you to take half a breath before the water is back over your face? And you're not sure if you're going to live or you really might drown?
> 
> Yeah, that's been life for the last couple of months. Mental health took a dive, feel like I'm barely treading water. 
> 
> But I'm trying guys. I still haven't given up on this story. It's just, obviously, not my top priority.

It was Saturday again, which would usually mean a lot of sitting around in their pajamas watching movies and cooking appetizer dinners with Ellie. Instead, it was Wade standing in jeans and a pair of socks, staring at his reflection as he tried to get his hair to cooperate with him. 

"What are you doing?" Ellie stood in the doorway, looking at him. 

Wade felt like he'd been caught doing something bad instead of just personal grooming. "Um, I'm just, uh, going to go hang out with a, an, uh, a friend. For a little while. Why?" 

Ellie's eyes narrowed until they were barely slits. "A friend?" She crossed her arms, looking pretty menacing for only being four foot seven. "Dad, it's November. If you were really going to meet 'just a friend', you'd be wearing a beanie. You wear beanies every day from October to April. You have an entire drawer in your dresser dedicated to beanies."

Blinking at her, Wade tried to decide if she was right. She couldn't be, right? There was no way a master mercenary like him could be so predictable. No way. 

Right? 

"So who is it?" Ellie barely got the words out before her eyes and mouth flew open and she let out a screaming gasp. "Did you find your soulmate?!" She scrambled up onto the counter in front of him, ripping the pomade out of his hands and shoving him toward the shower. "Rinse that out and I'll fix it. And tell me everything! Who is it? Boy or girl? When did you meet them? How many dates have you been on? When do I get to meet them?" 

Wade turned on the shower and put his head under the spray with a sigh. Yeah, there was no way he was going to be able to keep this from her now. He couldn't lie to her. After his hair was clean, he grabbed a towel to dry his shoulders and hair, then went to stand in front of her. "His name is Peter. This is only our second date. He's younger, but he's really smart." 

Her capable little hands worked through his hair. "Okay. Well, according to Cosmo, it should be at least the fifth date before I meet him." 

"Where the hell are you getting Cosmo?" Wade pulled out of her hands long enough to glare at her. 

He was met with a dark eyed glare on her face. "Ness, obviously. Now stop moving." She grabbed his ears and yanked him back into place, smacking his shoulder when he let out a yelp of pain. "So that means three more dates after this before I expect to meet him. Because, obviously, I have to meet my new stepdad." 

Wade pulled out of her reach again, his eyes wide. "Stepdad?" 

Ellie looked at him like he was stupid for a moment, before her face softened in sympathy. "Dad, if he's your soulmate, I have to meet him. And considering how much effort you're putting into this, I feel like it's pretty safe to say that you want this to be a romantic connection. So, he'll be my stepdad eventually." 

He blinked at her for a moment before he nodded slowly. "Yeah, I guess." Wade leaned forward, wrapping his arms around his little girl and kissing the side of her head. "Where'd you get all those big brains? It definitely wasn't me." 

"Aunt Ness says that boys would be smarter except that testosterone is like acid and eats at your brains." 

Wade snorted and then chuckled. "Yeah, I can see her saying something like that." He kissed her forehead and then helped her off the counter. Instead of letting go of his hand, though, she dragged him into the bedroom. There, she started tearing unto his closet and tossing articles at him. She was apparently determined to help him now. 

When he showed up to dinner, he decided Ellie had been on to something with the wine red vee neck sweater because Peter's face turned a color that almost matched it and he stammered out that he looked good.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See end notes for a word from me, please.

Dating Wade was honestly pretty amazing. They were together as often as their schedules allowed. Eating dinner together, going to the shooting range, just hanging out and getting to know each other. Peter was almost one hundred percent sure that Wade was his soulmate. There was only one teensy little problem. 

Deadpool. 

When Peter was with Wade, he felt amazing. He felt like everything was falling into place and it was leading him down exactly the right path. But when he was with Deadpool, he felt free. Even though he didn't tell Deadpool anything too specific about his life, he could be Spiderman with him. He didn't have to constantly keep his strength in check, didn't have to pretend to have a normal appetite. And Spiderman was such a huge part of his life that not telling Wade about it was actually really hard. But he wasn't ready to drop that bomb into conversation yet. 

It was a very confusing thing and he hated it. He just wanted it to be straightforward. If he could stop thinking about Deadpool, he was sure that he could tell Wade about Spiderman. Or if Wade wasn't so absolutely perfect for him, he could tell Deadpool he had feelings for him. Instead, he was stuck between them. 

The whole thing was honestly way more distracting than he really needed it to be. That meant, when he and Deadpool were patrolling, he was not on top of his game. They stumbled into a gang fight, one that was a lot bigger than they expected. They shouldn't have approached so openly, and all hell broke loose. 

Peter was swinging around, trying to web up some of the bad guys to lower the numbers against them, while Deadpool was, as usual, brutally efficient with his rubber bullets, all while singing off key.

Unfortunately, the gang members hadn't gotten the rubber bullet memo. Peter found that out for sure when a bullet hit him in the shoulder, just barely managing to miss the joint but hurting way too much to let him hold onto the web he'd been shooting. He dropped to the ground from two stories up, landing halfway on top of a dumpster. Pain radiated from his shoulder and his hips and knees, but especially from the ankle he knew from past experience was either broken or severely sprained.

As if that wasn't bad enough, he was now on the opposite side of the alley as Deadpool was, so he didn't even have cover while his body tried to compartmentalize the pain and start working again. He heard a click and glanced up at a gang member, bleeding from his eyebrow and his arm wrapped around with webbing that looked as if he'd cut it away from something. The man laughed and Peter knew that if he didn't do something, he'd end up shot in the head. He used his left hand to shoot a web at the gun, trying to ignore the white edges to his vision when he had to put his weight on his right arm to manage it. He yanked the gun toward him instead of away, somehow getting a hold on it. Without thinking, he shot the man in the kneecap, then quickly popped the magazine out and spread the bullets on the ground, all the while his brain was crackling and sending red lines through his vision from pain. 

"Holy shit, baby boy!" Peter looked up at Deadpool, but there didn't seem to be anyone else to worry about. Everyone was on the ground or webbed securely to something. "Watching you shoot that gun was like the sexual awakening of the year. If I didn't already know I was definitely pansexual, I would because of that move. Where'd you even learn to do that? I thought Spiderman didn't like guns." 

Peter forced himself to start standing up, biting back moans of pain because he didn't want Deadpool to know he was as hurt as he was. "He doesn't. The guy under the mask, though, has a boyfriend that likes weapons and has taught him a thing or two." His voice totally sounded normal, not breathy and strained at all. 

"Spidey, how bad was that fall?" Deadpool came forward, hands messing around with his utility belt. Peter was too distracted by the action to answer, and then he pulled out an Israeli bandage. Peter had never actually seen one in person, but he recognized it from photos. "Hey, you gonna answer there, baby boy? Or are you too busy staring at my junk?"

Peter shook his head. "What? No. I was looking at that." He pointed with his left hand. 

Deadpool opened it up and then grabbed Peter's arm to open up the wound so he could cover it. Peter savagely bit his lip to stop himself from screaming. "Yeah, see, that's not really an answer. And with that distractibility you got going on there, it's making me a little nervous. That can be a sign of shock."

"I'm not in shock. It just takes energy to heal." Peter wanted to stick his tongue out at him, but he was kind of going for the mature person in charge thing right now. 

"Oh, yeah. You got a healing factor? How good is it?" Deadpool finished applying the bandage and Peter felt mildly less nauseous now that it felt like it was stopped bleeding. Though, he could do without the pressure since it hurt like a bitch, even if he knew that was exactly what was helping him right now. 

Peter shrugged and then almost brained himself for how much it hurt. "It's not as good as yours -" Deadpool held his hand out in an 'obviously' kind of way. "- but it gets the job done,' Slowly, he mentally tacked on, very slowly, but he needed him to stop worrying so he'd let him go. If he wasn't willing to tell Wade, the person he was sure was his soulmate, about Spiderman, he definitely wasn't telling Deadpool about Peter. 

Deadpool stood with his hands on his hips. "You got a safe place to deal with that?" When Peter nodded, he sighed. "Fine. You go there and I'll deal with these shit stains." When Peter opened his mouth to argue, he put his gloved finger over his mouth, missing a little because the mask disguised it a bit. "I said deal with, not wipe them from existence." He pulled out his phone and wiggled it in triumph. "Calling the cops. I'm going to be a good little 'Pool and leave them for the authorities. Maybe then you'll show me that adorable face under there." 

"Deadpool…" 

"Hey, it was a joke." Deadpool looked oddly serious. "I haven't shown you mine, either. I'm not expecting something from you that I won't give. That's fucked up." He stepped back, clearing the way for Peter to leave the alley. "Now get to your safe space before they have to cut you open to dig that bullet out." He seemed to figure out where he'd be going. "Oh, is it the A team? Or is that copyright infringement? Whatever, it doesn't matter."

Peter grimaced and then nodded. He shot a web with his left hand, pulling himself up with it until he was on top of buildings. It was going to be a bitch to run roofs until he got to the Avengers tower, but there was no way he could sling there. He looked down at Deadpool, who already had his phone to his ear, and then shook his head. This was so complicated. Finally, he started running, praying his strength held out until he got there so he didn't have to call Tony and ask for a pickup.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so  
Life is not going so great right now. Instead of leaving you guys guessing if and when I'll be posting, I wanted to update you. I'm going to take a break through the end of February. I've had pretty bad depression and anxiety, two family members have died in the last two weeks, work went bonkers, and I adopted a second cat out of my backyard. On top of this, experiencing Hella writers block. 
> 
> So, the plan is to start posting again, hopefully regularly, by the second week of March. I'll try to be writing the whole first week. If you have any cool fics that might help inspire my creativity and drive, feel free to drop a link.
> 
> Thanks for being patient!


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back at it? Slow as hell and don't even think about a regular posting schedule. But I just finished writing chapter 22 (heh, it's two weeks late) and wanted to post something.
> 
> I got some personal things to note at the end, if you're interested.

Wade went home after he watched Spiderman run away. A part of him was a little jealous that he couldn't take care of him himself, but he swallowed that down. Spiderman wasn't his in any way. 

Besides, he was supposed to see Peter tomorrow, to go shooting and have lunch. In the morning, though, he woke up to a text saying he couldn't make it to shooting, but that he'd be there for lunch. Wade didn't think too much of it. Sure, it was a bit disappointing since Peter was coming really far with how well he could shoot, but it wasn't like they'd never be able to go again. 

He was the first to the restaurant, and he smiled widely when he saw Peter walk in. How the guy could make skinny jeans and dorky science shirts look so good was beyond him, but he did. He always looked so good that it took a lot of self control to stop himself from trying to peel it off him. That was a step they still hadn't taken, both of them determined to keep things going slow so they could be more secure in their relationship. 

As soon as Peter sat down, Wade narrowed his eyes at him. There was a bruise along his cheek, stretching from his chin to the corner of his eye and then up around his eyebrow. It wasn't dark, just a few shades darker than his skin, which was why he hadn't noticed it until he was closer. "What happened to your face, baby?" they looked a week old, but he'd just seen him a few days ago and they weren't there then. 

Peter widened his eyes and lifted his hand to gently run a finger over the bruises. "Well, you know I'm pretty clumsy? So, like, the other day, I got out of bed. And I hadn't had any coffee because I was running late? And I just kind of ran through the apartment and ended up slamming the side of my face into the doorway of my bathroom." He was speaking a little too fast. 

Wade wasn't sure if he believed him, but he wasn't actually sure how to call him out on it. To him, and he considered himself a bit of an expert on injuries, it looked like he would have had to be going fifty miles an hour to do that kind of damage to his face, and that was obviously way faster than any human being could run. Except maybe the Flash, and he wasn't even in this universe. "Uh huh." 

"Wow, I've really got to go to the bathroom. I'll be back." Peter jumped up from the table fast enough that he slammed his hip into the table. It should have hurt, but not enough to make Peter make the punched out yelp that he did. 

Quick as a flash, Wade reached out, lifting his shirt just a little to look at his hip. What he saw made his eyes almost leap out of his skull. From just above his hip bone and disappearing into his jeans, large enough that it likely lasted all the way to mid thigh at least, was a technicolor explosion. It was dark blue in the middle, fading through purple and green until the edges were the sickly yellow of an old bruise. "What the _fuck_ is that?" 

Peter looked down at it for a long moment. "I fell out of bed this morning? And I landed on a shoe, because I'm like really bad at putting away my things so my rooms like a complete disaster. Aunt May has been trying to fix that for, like, years but it never seems to stick. So, yeah. That's, that's what happened."

Wade looked up at him, but now he was ignoring how gorgeous he was. He looked at him critically, using every bit of combat expertise he had to go over his body. There was something else, something that hurt more than the two bruises he'd already found, and that was ignoring the common sense that said there was likely more bruises on his shins. He narrowed his eyes and poked him in the shoulder, noticing how tightly he was holding his arm. He could see the pain on his face as he tried to hold back a yell, only letting out a long lasting hiss. 

"And the shoulder? Did you get attacked by a trained attack pigeon?" Wade knew that his disbelief was written on his face. 

Peter looked like a deer in headlights. Finally, he sagged and let out a breath. "Okay. I bought a motorcycle." 

Wade raised his brows. "A motorcycle." 

"Yeah. Out in the suburbs. And I was going to drive it home from there." Peter nodded quickly. "But, you know, I've never actually driven a motorcycle before, and I crashed it." 

"Why didn't you just tell me that?" 

Peter swallowed. "Because I was super embarrassed. I wanted to impress you. You know, roll up to a date in a leather jacket and sunglasses on a motorcycle." 

The problem was that Wade couldn't deny that would be incredibly sexy. He didn't say that out loud, though. Just blinked at him for a moment. "And where is this wrecked motorcycle now?"

"A.. Motorcycle gang drove by? And they helped me. I let them have the bike afterward since it was wrecked and I didn't really know how to drive it." 

"Peter! Some of those gangs can be incredibly dangerous! What did their logo look like?" Wade would die of a heart attack if it was possible. What was wrong with this kid? 

"Oh, um. I didn't really look. Maybe a flame? Or a tornado?" He looked sorry, but Wade was still thinking about strangling him. 

Wade took a deep breath, trying to control his blood pressure. Finally, he shook his head. "Come on. We're going back to my place and ordering Chinese. And then, you're staying in bed and relaxing."

Peter smiled, nodding quickly. "Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like, my last chapter I mentioned that two family members had died in two weeks. If you read the comments in that, you'd know. But, personally, I never read comments on fics I'm reading so I'll let you in.
> 
> I posted the last chapter on Tuesday, 2/11. Saturday (2/15), I was called by my sister, whom I had not spoken to in over two years, because our grandma was in the hospital with an inoperable brain bleed. There's a huge amount of family drama relating to the fact that I didn't hear until TWELVE FUCKING HOURS after she was admitted, but honestly, I don't feel like everyone wants to read about it. I'll gladly bitch in a comment, but you'll have to ask. Fast forward through emotional and psychological fuck fests and four days, my grandmother died on Wednesday, February 19. So, all the time I was taking to try to get my anxiety/depression/c-ptsd under control. Yeah, no, those went to freaking out, feeling worse, cleaning out my grammas hoarder house with my cousin, and then. Yeah, you know. COVID-19. Considering I'm on immunosuppressants because of an autoimmune disease, I'm high risk. Did I mention that anxiety earlier? Yeah, that's *totally* helped. 
> 
> Tl;dr - life has been one fucking disaster after another and now I'm quarantined so between deep cleaning, losing my mind over my full of attitude daughter, and losing my mind for general purposes, I'm going to try to start writing again. Finally.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back at it baby. I've written two chapters in the last week or so.
> 
> Yay!

Peter had literally no idea where the idea of a motorcycle accident came from. He was just floundering because he couldn't tell him he was Spiderman. He wanted to, but he was afraid it would be too much. Spiderman was in dangerous situations all the time and got hurt a lot more than he liked. What if Wade decided that was too stressful for him? Sure, he was a retired mercenary, but the key word there was retired. He'd said he wanted a nice stable life for his daughter. Spiderman didn't give that. 

And he was honestly more than half in love with the guy. He couldn't handle a breakup. 

Peter was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn't realize they had even left until they were getting out of a cab and walking into an apartment building. Then, he was definitely distracted from his thoughts by the idea that he'd actually be able to see where Wade lived. The guy was so weird, he didn't know what to expect. 

The first thing that met his eyes was something he'd describe as an accent wall. It was behind the couch, and it was full of the oddest mixture of things he'd ever seen. There were pictures, of Wade and a little girl, as well as a woman that Peter assumed was Vanessa, Wade's best friend, from the way the pictures looked. His favorite was probably the one where Wade and her were side by side, but they each had a hand in each other's faces, pushing each other's noses up into pig snouts. Among the pictures were also framed photos of Hello Kitty and the Golden Girls. There were also various blades. Knives, mostly, though there were throwing stars as well. The shelf above everything was cluttered with glass figurines of unicorns. Despite the eclectic nature of all of the decorations, they were arranged rather tastefully, with harmonious colors. 

"Wade. You're back early. Sounds like you have someone with you." The voice pulled Peter's attention away from the giant stuffed monkey in the recliner, and over to the table in the dining room. There was a woman there, wearing a grey velvet tracksuit and a deep purple shirt, as well as sunglasses. Her hair was a curly gray afro. Judging by the way she didn't turn to look at them - and the sunglasses indoors in an apartment with only a lamp on in a different room - he assumed she was blind. 

"Yeah, Al. We decided to come here for Chinese. Where's Ellie?" Wade kicked off his shoes, which made Peter do the same. 

Al started standing up from the table. "She's doing her homework in her bedroom." she grabbed the cane that Peter hadn't seen leaning against the table and started toward the door. "But if you're home, I'm off to Lornas. They acted like they were sad I couldn't make it for poker but I know they weren't. They get sick of a blind woman kicking their asses. I'm sure they'll be thrilled when I come in." 

Walking past Wade, she quickly reached out and smacked him in the face. It wasn't hard, but Peter was mostly impressed that a blind woman managed it. "Where are your manners?" 

Wade looked crestfallen. "Oh, uh, Al, this is my boyfriend Peter. Peter, this is the dark cloud that follows me everywhere and sometimes consents to babysit for me, Al." 

"Nice to meet you." Peter reached out to shake her hand and then realized she had no way to know what he was doing, so he started to drop it. 

Al reached out and grabbed his hand, shaking it once. "Keep this man child in check, will you? He needs it." 

"Um. I'll try?" 

"You can't see it, but I'm rolling my eyes. You sound like just as big of a disaster as he is." She chuckled and then went for the door. "Let me know next time you need me." 

Peter watched her leave and then shook his head. "She's kind of terrifying." 

"Yep." Wade made his way into the kitchen, with Peter following. It actually looked really well organized? And like it was actually used, unlike his own. He had a very nice kitchen, but all he used in it was the coffee pot and the microwave. And sometimes the oven, to store pizza in, though he'd really started being careful about that since he'd forgotten some once and ended up with mold covered, absolutely awful smelling pieces in there for a month. "What's your go to Chinese order? I'm already getting beef fried rice, beef with broccoli, szechuan chicken, crab Rangoon, fried wanton, and egg rolls."

Peter had long since stopped being self conscious about his eating habits with Wade. He had a huge appetite and he'd die if he tried to appear delicate in front of him. "Sweet and sour chicken, three egg rolls, Kung pao chicken. Oh, and a bowl of egg drop soup. And maybe extra of the crab Rangoon." 

Wade chuckled. "The whole kitchen, got it." He gestured down the hallway. "Go into my room, first door on the right, and change into some shorts and a tee shirt. Shirts are in the second drawer, shorts are in the bottom one on the dresser to the left. I'm checking you out before the food gets here."

He made a face, but he went to do as he was told while Wade dialed. He got into the room and then couldn't stop himself. He snooped. He checked inside of what looked like a jewelry box, but mostly found bullets and a few coins that looked collectible. There were a few things that were clearly barbells, but he had no idea what kind of piercings they'd go into. The straight ones reminded him of what someone would put in their tongue, but he knew Wade didn't have his pierced. There were also some weirdly curved ones? Almost like eyebrow ones but too long. Deciding he didn't know what to do with any of those, he closed the box and then moved on. 

Inside the side table, he found lube and condoms, as well as some more interesting things in the second drawer. There were handcuffs, a ball gag, and a dildo. His face was burning and he was forcing himself not to think about using any of those things when he closed the drawers and went to go find the clothes he was told about. At this point, if he found anything else, he was going to have a hard time not throwing himself at Wade and begging to suck him off. 

He found a plain grey tee shirt and swapped it out for his own. It was way too big on him, since he was lean muscle and Wade was kind of the opposite. The shorts were also too big, but at least they had a drawstring so he could keep them on his hips. He felt like a child playing dress up when he left the bedroom, his clothes folded neatly on the end of the bed. Wade was already at the couch, sitting on the coffee table with what could only be described as an apocalypse ready first aid kit. It had the traditional white and red coloring, but it was easily half the size of the coffee table and a foot tall. "That is the biggest first aid kit I've ever seen in my life." 

Wade looked up at him and winked. "Big booboos take big bandaids." He opened it up and then gestured toward the couch. "Show me where it hurts, baby." 

Peter sighed and sat on the couch, lifting the leg of the shorts to show him his bruising. It was from mid thigh all the way up to the top of his hip, and it was sore as hell. He knew it was from the way he hit the dumpster the other night. Wade touched it, feeling softly with his fingertips. Peter's face was burning and he looked away because if he watched him, he'd think about the ballgag and then his dick would be showing a lot of interest in the proceedings. Wade didn't say anything, though. He just moved through the various injuries, looking them over and feeling for underlying issues. 

Peter was terrified he'd make him take off the bandage over his shoulder. What was under there wouldn't look like anything that could be done in a motorcycle accident. It was bullet hole. There was no escaping that. But Wade just went right past it after Peter assured him it didn't hurt too bad. 

Once Wade was satisfied that there weren't any blood clots or fractures hidden under the impressive bruising, he started getting things out of the first aid kit. He started with something a little sticky feeling, rubbing it into his temples and down the bruising on his face. It hurt a little bit, but Wade used gentle fingers and after a few moments, Peter felt his eyes close as he started to relax. His hands slipped around his face to the back of his skull and Peter let his head drop. He worked from the base of his skull and down his neck, to the top of his shoulders, carefully keeping his hands above the collar of his shirt. "Mind if I get your shoulders?" 

"Mm." Peter just turned and then Wade slipped his hands under the shirt, right to his shoulders. He relaxed the tension there with what Peter assumed was some kind of magic fingers. Then his fingers dipped to the small of his back. It still felt amazing, and he was relaxed, but now there was a stirring of arousal in him. He tried to just breathe through it and let himself stay loose, not wanting to undo everything he'd done. It was hard, but very nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to That_one_girl for being the irl fan to get my ass in gear.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoooooooo  
I'm on a roll

Wade had Peter sit back on the couch and grabbed the arnica cream out of the first aid kit. All of Peter's injuries didn't make sense. If he'd been in a motorcycle accident, he'd have road rash. Unless he was wearing leathers, but even then, he'd have bruises on his knees, and he didn't. It all started at his thigh. And besides that, he didn't really seem like the type that would buy leathers. He still lived pretty frugally, like he'd told Wade he'd grown up, even though he'd snuck a glance at his bank app on his phone and he really didn't have to anymore. Sure, Peter didn't have much compared to how much Wade did in his various accounts, but it was more than enough to pay for his decent apartment and cover luxuries as well as bills. 

The injuries didn't make sense. They weren't in the places that they should be for what he'd said happened, but they also weren't _right_. He'd just seen him three days ago, and he hadn't been hurt at all then, but all of his injuries looked like they'd been healing for twice that time. 

He was ignoring it. Coming up with all sorts of excuses for it because Peter wasn't a liar. He was painfully honest, actually.

Wade shook his head and spread the cream on his hands before moving to Peter's thigh. Instantly, the man's muscles were tense under his fingers. "Don't you worry, babe. I'm a gentleman, through and through. Not going to cop a feel." 

Peter's face turned pink, but he smiled and nodded. He also didn't relax again, tensing just a little more with every little bit Wade moved higher. It wasn't until he could feel the edges of his boxers under the shorts that he realized Peter was having the opposite concern. Those shorts weren't the thickest and Wade was now in a fantastic position to see things going on in there. He looked up at Peter's face, finding it flushed and his lip between his teeth. "So…" His fingers twitched up a little higher, brushing the crease between his thigh and his groin. Peter looked at him and tried to smile, his lip red from where he'd been biting it. "Are you happy to see me?" 

Well, that backfired. Peter turned bright red and his muscles tensed right back up. Wade wasn't really sure how to fix this. He was almost afraid to talk because he knew himself. He was seriously into Peter and he knew that all sorts of innuendo would slip in even without his meaning it to. So he just shut up and finished with his thigh. "Alright, you lay down and keep the bad side up. I've got something that will help those ribs a bit." 

Peter nodded and laid down, facing the back of the couch. After he was sure he was done moving, Wade went into the kitchen, turning his faucet on as high as it could go. He opened the drawer for washcloths, but he didn't find any. Shrugging, he grabbed hand towels, soaking them in the now steaming water. Once he'd rung them out, he brought them to Peter. "Pull your shirt up, please." Peter did as he asked, then flinched a little when he laid the towels over him. It was momentary, though. Within seconds, he was relaxing again. 

"Thank you for doing this. I've been taking care of myself for a really long time. Aunt May would help, of course, but I can't just bust in on her any time my clumsy ass gets hurt. It's really nice having someone else help, though." 

Wade ran his fingers through Peter's hair. "I'll help any time you like." He bent down and peppered his face with loud kisses, not liking the wrinkle of sadness between his brows. Peter started laughing, which Wade was sure hurt his ribs, but he didn't care. He liked seeing a happy Peter. Before Wade could say anything sappy, though, the door buzzed. And that sound brought his daughter out of her room. 

"Ellie-bug!" Wade sang it, and she rolled her eyes at him. "I'm going to go get dinner from the poor man at the door. You keep Peter company." 

Peter rolled a bit so he could look at her and smiled. "Nice to meet you, Ellie." 

Ellie looked at her father as he shoved his feet back in his shoes. He waved at them, and as he was closing the door, he heard his daughter's voice. "Are you my dad's soulmate?"


	22. Chapter 22

"Uh? I mean. Maybe? We think so?" There were big, panicked eyes staring at her. How in the world did her dad manage to find the one person on the planet that might actually be more of a disaster than he was? 

Ellie came to sit on the couch, on the arm with her feet on the cushions. When Peter leaned away from her a little, she smiled a little wider. "So how'd you get hurt? Those look like some nasty cuts and dad only pulls out the arnica cream when things are bad." 

More blinking. Seriously? "I got into a motorcycle accident?" 

"Is everything you say a question?" She raised her brow at him. 

"No?" The other brow went up. "I mean, no. No it's not." 

Ellie chuckled a little. After looking him over for a few seconds, noting the way his fingers played with the bottom of the shirt he was wearing. "You're small. My dad is, like, _super_ strong, but I don't even think he'd have to be to pick you up and carry you like a ragdoll." 

Peter looked down at himself and then back up at her. "I'm stronger than I look." 

It was clear how doubtful she was about that. "Mmhm." After a few more seconds of staring, she propped her chin in her hand, her elbow resting on her knee. There was something about him that looked familiar. "Why were you on a motorcycle? You look a little… Young to be riding motorcycles." She knew for a fact that he couldn't be that young, since her dad had extremely strong feelings about all of that. Saying he looked young just seemed less rude than telling him he looked like too big of a nerd for it. 

And now those big, panicked eyes were back on her. "I've never ridden one before. I thought it sounded fun. So I bought one and decided to ride it." 

He seemed like he was just a little too precise with that answer. There was nothing she could point to specifically, but it sounded like the times when people lied and thought their story out too much for it. Of course, she couldn't nail him with evidence that was just a hunch, so she let it slide. "Cool. I told dad I wanted a motorcycle but he said I had to be sixteen first. That's like five years from now which is soooo long. Could you give me a ride on yours?" 

"It got, um, crumpled. Like, it's so messed up. Some motorcycle.. guys? They took it from me. And gave me a ride home. So. I don't have a motorcycle anymore." 

His voice legitimately squeaked! Was her dad an idiot for believing this? Well. She loved her dad, and he was super smart with some things. But yes, she knew for a fact, he was also an idiot. "Sure." She raises a brow at him. "Well, you should have told dad to teach you. He knows how to ride one. And if he got hurt on it, he'd be fine." 

Peter wasn't even looking at her anymore. He was staring at the door like he was begging it to open. She really wanted to keep questioning him, but then the door opened. "Food!" She bolted for the door, taking a bag from her dad's hands. 

"Ellie, why does Peter look shell-shocked?" He followed her into the kitchen. 

"I don't know, Daddy. Maybe he got really hurt in his motorcycle accident and needs to be checked for a concussion." 

"Eleanor." When she wrinkled her nose at him, he sighed. "Please don't scare the poor guy away. He's gone through enough."

She finished making her plate and then stood on her tiptoes. He still had to bend down so she could kiss his cheek, but they both ignored it. "I'll be nice, dad. I promise." She was almost back out the door to her room when she turned back. "He's cute. And he seems nice, even if he's a little jumpy." 

She started down the hall to the sound of her dad's laughter.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See that, yall? We have a chapter count.
> 
> *parties*

Wade couldn't help laughing at his daughter. She was something else, for sure. He quickly made plates for Peter and himself, each of them heaped high with food. Then, he brought the rest of the food to the living room, taking two trips to get it all there. Where Peter put all that food he ate, Wade had no fucking clue, but it always got eaten and he always seemed down for more. 

"So. That was Ellie." Peter grabbed his chopsticks and started putting food in his mouth as fast as he probably thought he could without being rude. Wade could have told him he failed, but he also didn't care. Who did he have to impress anymore? Peter could impress him, and had, just by breathing. 

Wade didn't bother with manners. He had a mouth full of eggroll when he answered. "Yep. That's the one true love of my life."

Snorting, Peter spit rice out of his mouth. He started cleaning it up. "She's kind of a freight train. I feel like I spent time in Gitmo." 

"Oh, trust me. She's worse." Wade grabbed a Rangoon and tossed it into his mouth, wincing when the crunchy part stabbed him between the teeth. "At Gitmo, they're just mean. Her? She makes you think she's being nice and then she comes in with a suckerpunch." 

Peter laughed, but he managed to keep his food in his mouth this time. They joked around and talked while they watched a random show on TV, but when the food was gone - every grain of rice obliterated and not a trace of any sauce left - Peter sighed." I should go." 

"What?" Wade raised a brow at him. This kid seriously thought he was leaving? "Why?" 

"I have a thing. A paper. I've got to go write it." Peter got a little shifty at that. 

Wade shook his head. "Babe, no. I love you, but have you ever seen those galaxy paintings? They're all dark colors, purple and blue and black? You look like that under those clothes. I can't in good conscience allow you to go home and be by yourself. Since I can't go hang out with you, you're staying here." He glanced over at him and saw him staring back, wide eyes and a little paler. "What?"

"You love me?" 

"Um." Wade hadn't meant to say that. It wasn't the type of thing you should say for the first time so casually. Unfortunately, he watched Peter's face harden into something he'd never seen before when he paused. It was devoid of all emotion, just hard and empty. It broke his heart a little. "Yeah. I do. I meant to be a little more, I don't know, romantic about it but-"

A surprisingly strong hand gripped the back of his head. Before he could figure out exactly what was happening, his lips were pressed tight against Peter's. Since he had exactly negative twelve problems with that, he threw himself into it. When Peter climbed into his lap, he only had about two brain cells thinking about Peter being hurt. The other three he owned were in favor of what he was doing. 

There was desperation to their movements, a little too much force in the kiss and tight grips on each other, but it was also languid. Wade could feel the weight of Peter's hard cock on his stomach, and considering how borderline painful his own felt under his ass, he was sure Peter could feel it, too. But they weren't grinding against each other. They were on the same page, he guessed. Wade would gladly have Peter bent over the back of the couch and his cock inside of him in a heartbeat. Except his daughter was in the other room and she didn't need to hear or see that. He wasn't completely convinced that Peter deserved it. Naked Wade was only sexy in the dark. 

Finally, it cooled a bit between them. Wade's hands were on Peter's hips, Peter's were on his shoulders, and their foreheads were pressed together. "I love you, too." Peter's voice was soft, intimate. Wade couldn't help the giant smile that stretched across his face. 

Wade kissed him one more time, and then slid him off his lap and back onto the couch. "Great. Time to watch romantic movies and pretend we fit together well on this couch." Peter chuckled, but he wasn't joking. He turned on Stardust and then stretched out on the couch, pulling Peter across him and tucking him between the back of the couch and his body. 

Peter fell asleep before Tristan even left the village and met his star. It was good, because Wade spent the rest of the movie watching this beautiful man.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus points if anyone can figure out the two references I've made in here.

Weeks passed after his stupid biker gang lie, where things heated up between the two of them. It was never quite enough to seal the deal, so to speak, and Peter wasn't sure why Wade never pushed him. Clearly Wade was a nice guy, and as such, wasn't going to pressure him, but he seemed a little relieved when Peter would put the brakes on any situation. Which, honestly, made him feel a little bit awful. Did Wade not want to sleep with him? That seemed impossible when he kissed him, but then why would he be so happy to have it end? 

Of course, this also made him a giant hypocrite. _He_ was the one putting a stop to it before they had sex, after all. It was just that he knew his own reasons and couldn't help worrying about what Wade's were. 

His reason was wrapped in red and black leather. Wade was absolutely amazing, extremely attractive and funny and sweet. But Deadpool could keep up with him as Spider-Man and, it didn't really matter how badass Wade had been as a mercenary, he was only human. He wouldn't be able to help him catch bad guys, or walk off a gut shot with only complaints about diarrhea. Not that Peter actually _enjoyed_ that last bit, but it made him feel free, in a way. Here was someone he didn't have to worry about. Deadpool could take out anyone that came for him - and he'd been getting him to do it in less lethal ways for a while now - but even if he didn't, it wasn't permanent. He'd never have to be at his funeral, he'd never have to feel like a failure as he slipped away forever. 

And maybe that fear was a problem, too. He loved Wade, but he was afraid of committing completely because what if he died? What if he left Peter alone again? 

"What's up, bubble butt?" 

"Hm?" Peter looked over at his boyfriend and shook his head. "What?" 

Wade raised a brow at him, managing to look suspicious and dumb at the same time, as his mouth and hands were covered in butter from the popcorn he didn't stop shoving in his mouth. "Whath up Bubba butt?" 

Peter snorted and shook his head. "Nothing." 

"Babe, that woman just accused her robot boyfriend of fucking the toaster and you didn't even twitch." 

"What?!" Peter looked at the screen. "Rewind it." 

Instead, he paused it, turning to look at him more seriously. "What's got that baby face all twisted up, love?" 

Peter looked at him for a moment, feeling far away as he thought it through. Maybe he should tell him. He was roughly 96% sure that Wade was his soulmate. So he should tell him about Spider-Man. Decision made, he opened his mouth to do so, but then a few things happened. 

A boom reverberated through the air. Wade didn't even flinch, though. So Peter knew only his hearing picked up on it. 

A female computer voice spoke after a few beeps. "Priority one message from Star Fleet coming in on secured channel."

Those words were barely over when Wade's phone started vibrating and flashing, also speaking. His was obviously a sound clip. "Bitch, this is an emergency!" 

Both of them reached for their phones, opening their messages before the movie they were watching closed out of the on demand selection, showing breaking news. His message was simple, just a 'Tower, ASAP' from Tony. 

The news was much more disturbing. A shaky cameraman panned over the Queensboro Bridge. But that wasn't all it showed. The water bulged over the East River before breaking and showing a horrible sight. 

The creature was grey with bright blue lines running across its skin. It's anatomy was impossible to decipher. The general shape of it was almost like a bear, if a bear could be hairless and at least five hundred feet tall. There was a crest along the back of its head like a triceratops, and horns like a rhino. It's eyes were small and beady, but there were six of them. And then, it opened its _other_ eyes, showing two huge electric blue orbs. 

"Holy shit." Wade's voice was tight, like even he was worried. 

"Aunt May." Peter's voice cracked as he said it, so he cleared his voice and tried again. "I have to get to Aunt May." He jumped up from the couch and then bolted for the door, ignoring everything but his backpack next to him. 

Wade jumped up and tried to follow him, but Peter got out the door and down the stairs faster than him. He took a few quick turns, through alleys and over half walls, until he climbed a fire escape he'd used before. He came in on an empty, abandoned apartment, the floor sagging in the middle, explaining why none of the transient community was using it. He used the hairs in his palms to keep himself steady as he stripped his clothes and pulled on the suit. After webbing the bag up into a corner, he launched out of the window. He had no idea what Spider-Man could do, but he was going to try.


	25. Chapter 25

Wade barely had time to realize there were fucking aliens attacking before Peter was trying to leave. He tried to stop him, but the guy was quick. 

But he wasn't as quick as he thought. 

Wade could tell by the way he started moving that he thought he was alone. He felt bad, but there was something fishy going on and he didn't mean sushi. They took a few quick turns and then Wade was sure he'd catch him in an alley. But when he got there, no one was there. Not even the cats he knew lived here because it was right by the safe house he used for his Deadpool stuff. He'd named them after his Girls, of course, even though one was clearly a tom. 

"Shit fuck bitch snacks." He'd lost him. And he couldn't afford to wait for him, not when he'd gotten a text from Clint telling him to get to the tower because they needed him. Still cursing, he circled the building, using the second fire escape because the first one just opened to the room with a sagging floor. He owned the building, but he kept the homeless out of three rooms, giving them all the freedom they wanted with the rest of the building, even paying for heat and air conditioning. He cut off the gas after the whole thing almost blew up, but he did keep the electricity on. Periodically, he went through it to be sure no one was trying to run a meth lab or a prostitution ring. You know, the things that were illegal but also bad. 

Once he got to his safe house - yeah, it was only an apartment but have you seen real estate prices in Queens? Highway robbery - he unlocked it. That was a lot harder than keys, though. Three deadbolts and a biometric lock that only opened to his iris scan. He'd wanted a fingerprint scanner because they were easier to hide, but his fingerprints changed too much with his healing factor. In the end, he'd settled for an iris scanner disguised as a peephole. Which was cool, because it was hidden so it wasn't screaming 'something important is here!' but also made him feel like he was James Bond or Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible. Win win. 

It took him a couple minutes to change into his leathers. Leather didn't stretch, nor did it forgive the three pounds of cookie dough he'd eaten when Hell week had struck - Vanessa on her period the same week that they had mommy daughter day at school for Ellie. He'd eaten the cookie dough and then pulled out his best dress and heels for the day, much to the bemusement of school faculty. 

Once he was dressed, he pulled out his phone, about to call Dopinder. Then, he remembered how terrifying everyone thought the aliens were and sighed. He'd have to hoof it. 

By the time he made it to the bridge, he was late to the game. There was a fleet of Iron Men in the air, the one holding Tony distinguishable only because it was blasting Black Sabbath. The Falcon was in the air, some giant gun type thing in his hands that shot electrical looking light at the beast, only managing to stun it for a few seconds. There was a chopper in the air, too. Every few seconds, exploding arrows flew out of it, hitting the alien. So far, it had lost four of its eight eyes. 

It looked like it would be a hard fight, but winnable, until he looked below. Creatures were coming out of the water. Small ones, about the size of the average catfish at the biggest. And they looked like maybe they had been fish to begin with. But they had tentacles and wings and terrifying teeth. They flew or crawled out of the water, attacking anyone close enough. Wade watched one spit spines at Captain America, who blocked it with his shield. Another came up behind him, revealing glistening fangs three inches long. That one exploded into red mist, probably courtesy of the Winter Soldier. 

Wade honestly had no idea what was happening until the creature raised its head and screamed, a vague iridescent cloud coming from its mouth. The sound was jarring and discordant, low and high frequencies combining to make more than a few people around, trying to flee, stop and scream themselves and clutch their heads. Quite a few of them ran away with blood dripping from their ears when it ended. That was bad enough, but there was worse. 

Black Widow's chopper wasn't the only one in the air. There were a few more. One had been in front of the creature when it screamed. At first, Deadpool hadn't realized what had happened. Then, the chopper started dropping. He thought it was maybe a last ditch suicide mission, but then he realized the trajectory was all wrong. It would hit the bridge and miss the alien. And then two… Things dropped out of it. 

One reminded him of a dragon, or a gryphon. He wasn't close enough to make out details, but it flew, with a tail like a snake and a screech like an eagle. The other dropped, seeming to change shape as it went. He hoped he'd seen the last of it when it dropped into the water, because it's inconsistency made him a little nauseous. And then, it rolled out of the water. It came up close to him, and it reminded him of mushrooms and moss. It had the same color as moss, and had mushroom like growths coming out of it, but it wasn't the slow, helpful creature either of them were. It moved and everything it passed over was decimated. He watched it roll over a man and leave nothing but bones that collapse into dust, all before he could do more than blink. 

He was shocked, honestly. All of his knowledge, alternate realities and a seemingly endless life, it meant nothing. This was something he'd never heard of, much less experienced. 

"Deadpool!" 

Wade looked when he heard his name. Captain America tossed something at him. Catching it on instinct, he was presented with an ear piece. He turned, tucking in on himself as he partially removed his mask to get it in. When it was in, it activated and he was in communication with all of the Avengers. 

"Cap, I got something coming toward you. Might have been a tree once, looks a bit like an Ent." Tony's voice came through. 

"An Ent? Seriously?" That was the Captain's voice, strained because Wade could see him trying to get the Moss Man toward him instead of the people cowering in a restaurant a hundred feet away. 

"I mean, like, if the Ents were carnivorous and also covered in leech like tentacles." 

"What the fuck! Tolkien was mean, but not that fucking bloody!" Wade answered before he could even think it through, tossing a grenade at the creature. 

Cap ducked behind his shield, pulling some, honestly impressive, turtle moves as it exploded. They all stared for a second, waiting to see if it moved again. But it disintegrated into goo instead. Well, at least explosions worked. 

"Oh, hey. Deadpool joined the party." Tony's voice was humorous, even though they could see him shooting an almost endless barrage of pulsar blasts at the alien. 

When he spoke again, Wade could tell by the silence behind his voice that he was the only one that could hear. "We think you're immune. Me and Banner, before he went green." Wade could see the Hulk, carried by three choppers, about to be dropped on the monster. "It rewrites genetic code. But it can't rewrite what's already being rewritten, right?" 

"Think?" Deadpool finally got into the game. He launched himself at the walking tree - it really did look like an Ent - shoving c4 into as many crevices as he could find. 

After the explosion, Tony's voice came back. "Yeah, think. This thing isn't exactly run of the mill. National Guard picked up a blip and couldn't figure out what it was. By the time they alerted anyone, it was moving here and had completely wiped out Jersey. At least the waterwide."

Deadpool nodded. He could do this. He'd packed enough explosives to kill that thing, if he could get to it without using it all on its unwilling minions. "Okay. I'll take a shot "

The thing was scary, but he could handle this. There would be casualties he'd mourn of course. He liked the way Bucky told a joke and Black Widow was the stuff of wet dreams with a cutting wit to remind you there was so much more. But, if he needed to, he could take it out. He'd just throw himself into its mouth with all his explosives ready to go. 

And that was exactly what he did. It was a hard battle getting there. He saw blood on every one of the Avengers, except for Tony. But he went from a fleet of fifty, when Deadpool got there, to just himself in the air. He fought his way onto the bridge, the whole thing barely standing, and waited for the right moment. 

The alien opened up its mouth to scream. He launched himself off the bridge, knowing he'd land in its mouth before the explosives strapped to his body, including a few from Tony that were sure to be extra cool, would go off. 

The last thing he heard was Tony screaming. "Don't get in its breath, Pe-" 

And then the world was searing heat and light, and he knew nothing.


	26. Chapter 26

"Don't get in its breath, Peter!" Tony screamed it even though he didn't have to. Friday picked up everything and sent anything above a whisper through the comms. But it was instinctual. How could he watch Spider-Man, trying to web close to keep the alien in the middle of the river for the explosion, sail right through its horrifying mutating breath and not freak out? 

For a moment, it seemed that the breath wasn't going to work and Tony felt a second of relief. But Peter didn't pull up on his web. Didn't attach a new one to fly out of there. He just started to fall. 

Before he could even think about it, Tony was shooting across the river. He caught Peter, hearing a few horrible cracks from his body, just feet above the water as a huge muffled boom echoed through the beast. There was blood, shooting out of its mouth and a few lines across its body where it had burst open, but the creature had been large and thick skinned enough that it was mostly contained. 

A part of him knew that Iron Man would be helpful in cleaning up the creatures that the alien breath had created, but he ignored it. Right now, Peter had been in the way of that breath and he needed to stop whatever was happening in him. Besides, with no new creatures showing up, he was confident his team could handle it. 

He made his way to the tower, flying through it to the med bay. As soon as he put Peter down on a table, he had Friday scanning and pulling off his suit. A holographic image of Peter's body came up, revealing the horror under his suit. A few broken rubs and a crack in his hips from falling into his Iron arms. The mutation showed up in the holography as crystals, almost. That was horrifying enough because a human body shouldn't have crystals in it, but as he watched, it updated, brightening for a moment and then showing the newest scan. The crystals, previously showing as a light blue, were still there. But now, there was a line of light purple around them. "What's the purple, Friday?" He asked even though he was sure he knew. 

"The rate of growth, sir." Friday was AI, technically incapable of emotion, but he felt like he could hear a touch of worry. 

Tony swallowed. "What is it? Numbers." 

"One half millimeter every thirty seconds." 

Tony ran his hand through his sweaty hair and then down his face. "Coffee. Now. Keep me updated on growth rate. I want to know if _anything_ changes." Once he got the affirmative, he pulled up his team comms on the computer. "Who's got eyes on the Jolly Green Giant?" 

"He's on the bank of the river, currently ripping apart the alien." Bucky's voice was calm, so he assumed they were doing okay. Of course, it was hard to tell with a sniper. They couldn't exactly give into emotion since it took so much concentration to shoot so well. "Hey, he just found Deadpool's head." 

"Well, if the rest of you can handle juicing the alien and collecting the Mouthy pulp, someone needs to get him down to size. I've got the Science Baby here, and he could really use that Banner brain." Tony hoped his worry wasn't obvious.

"On it." Natasha's voice came over the comms. With her on the job, he knew it would be accomplished quickly. He could concentrate on other things. 

"Update?" Tony spoke to the room as he started pulling up every bit of information he could find that might help. 

"No change in rate. Two percent mutation."

"Shit." It was slow, and that was all the good news he had. At this rate, it would take a few days to mutate him completely, but he had no way to stop it. At what point was it too far? At least it was starting at his feet and hands, not in his chest or head. He knew it would be way worse then. 

By the time an exhausted Bruce walked into the lab, Tony had blood samples under a microscope and was dreading taking off Peter's suit. "You're not a doctor, Tony."

"I am today." Tony looked at the blood sample. "Hey, Brucey, can you come take a look at this?" Bruce bent to the microscope, and Tony saw tension snap through his shoulders. "What does that look like to you?" 

"Pollen. But it's… Viral, almost. And growing." Bruce looked at him. "Peter's blood?" 

Tony raised a brow at him. "No, I'm just leaving him there while I conduct random biochemistry experiments." When Bruce looked not at all amused, the attempt at humor and sarcasm dropped out of him. "Yeah. He was in that thing's breath as Deadpool dropped inside him. I hoped he'd be fine, but clearly he isn't. And I have no idea how to stop it." 

The two of them looked at each other for a moment, then at Peter. How would they save him? Could they?


	27. Chapter 27

Explosion was one of his least favorite ways to die. Waking up was a pain. His brain turned on before anything else, which led him to believe he'd lost everything except the head. He was aware in a vague kind of way as things came back online. There was the _awareness_ that he wasn't alone, but the information coming to his brain wasn't enough to tell him even how many people were with him, much less who. 

Searing agony ripped through his body as his nerves came back. Wade felt his body starting to twitch and shake. If he was with people that were stupid, they'd do usual seizure protocol - the dumb version that was what _not_ to do during a seizure - and he could look forward to being held down and something hard shoved in his mouth. Which, honestly, just made everything worse. But he felt nothing as the agony slowly petered out. When he felt just a slightly painful tingle, he realized he didn't have any clothes on. Not even a mask. "Fuck me sideways with a chainsaw. I _hate_ explosions." Wade lifted a slightly shaky hand and rubbed his face. 

"It did the job, though." Natasha's voice sounded amused. "Alright, Captain Skivvies. We have to go now that you're awake." Something heavy dropped to the ground next to him. 

Wade finally sat up. Clint was sitting in a chair, carefully moving his arm as he inspected the three inch cut in it, perfect little stitches keeping it all together. Once he found it was good, he started wrapping a bandage around it. Well, at least he didn't have to worry about his identity. Clint knew who he was and he was 99% sure that Natasha had before today, too. "Go where?" The question came out distracted though. The thing that had dropped next to him? It was his suit. Clearly not the one he'd been wearing when he died because he could see the scraps of that off in a corner, just charred bits now. 

Anxiety spiked through his chest. This suit was real, but not only that. It was _his_. He recognized the hot sauce stain on the sleeve. "Where did you get this? _How_ did you get this?" Natasha just looked at him, her eyebrow raised in disdain. Wade blinked at her. "You're terrifying. Hot, but absolutely terrifying." 

"I'm not really your type, though, am I?" Natasha smiled at him, looking almost predatory. "You prefer lithe brunettes, the geeky sort, right?" 

"Terrifying." Wade pointed at her with a finger before starting to get into his suit. "Where do we have to go, anyway?" No one immediately answered him and he looked up between them as he finished tightening his belt. He could practically _feel_ the Wonder Twins powers working, and when he looked up, they were staring at each other. "Guys?" 

It was Clint that answered. "The tower. Spider-Man got caught in that thing's breath as you dove in. He's… Well. It's not looking good. Tony and Bruce aren't having an easy time trying to find a cure."

"It's just Bruce, now." Natasha started handing him weapons. They weren't all the ones he usually wore, but he assumed it was because she hadn't found the rest. Explosions inside things were pretty messy. "Tony's been fighting Fury for the last fifteen minutes." 

Wade practically bolted for the door as soon as he was all strapped up. He didn't know where he was, but he knew this city. He'd figure it out as soon as he got outside. Natasha and Clint caught up with him, so he looked at her. "Why's he fighting Fury?" 

Natasha started him toward a silver car. "Besides the fact that he's Tony and finds a way to fight with everyone? SHEILD wants to take Spider-Man. They figure he's going to die anyway, so they want to study the effects of it so they can come up with some idea how to fight it if it ever comes back."

The rest of the trip to the tower was a blur. Wade's head was having a really hard time wrapping around the idea that Spider-Man was dying. It felt like his heart had stopped beating and his head was swimming. 

Inside the tower, the elevator opened up onto a standoff. Every Avenger that had been at the fight, except Bruce and the three of them, were on one side of the room. Tony was in front, pointing and shouting and calling Fury every name in the book. Bucky and Steve were behind him, both of their arms crossed, like twin guard dogs. Sam was over to one side, staring at them. Clint and Natasha didn't stop walking, just joined their comrades behind Tony as he screamed at Fury. "I always knew you were a heartless bastard, but you're not taking him. I don't give a shit what kind of army you have, you don't have mine. You're not taking -" He was cut off by a bump on his shoulder from Steve, the only one that had nodded to acknowledge Wade. Tony glanced over and looked at him for a moment, then his eyes flicked to the left and he was back to screaming. 

Wade raised his brow inside his mask and then glanced where Tony had looked. There was the elevator, and a plant. Considering the plant looked real and not at all technological, he decided the elevator was the best bet. He got back inside and when the doors opened, he heard Friday's crisp British voice. "Deadpool. I have a request from Dr Banner to bring you to him. Will you allow me?" 

"Yeah." He assumed there was something important. Probably Spider-Man. Actually, it damn well better be Spider-Man or he was going to tear this tower apart. 

Thankfully, the door opened into what was clearly a medical area. "Deadpool has arrived." Friday informed the room. 

Looking around, Wade just saw a lot of science equipment. Various machines and computers and what looked like holographic simulations. There was also a table, empty of everything except a folded note. It said Deadpool on it, written in sharp, pointy letters, what he recognized as Tony's handwriting. When he unfolded it, it just had GPS coordinates on it. He was pretty sure he knew exactly what it was, so he tucked it into one of his pockets and kept walking. 

At the other end of the room, a door slid open, revealing a more dimly lit room with various monitors and a body on a table. Bruce stepped out and gestured for him to come close. "Good, you're ready." He handed him a small bag, almost like the types of bags old timey doctors used to carry on house calls, though this one was the same shade of green as the Hulk's eyes so he assumed it was a gift from Tony to Bruce. "Come on." 

When he'd seen the note, he assumed he was supposed to be getting Spiderman out of here. He hadn't thought Bruce would be coming with him. But he was. There was a sheet over Spiderman, a sight that had Wade's pulse racing. "Not to be rude, but why are you coming? You're not a doctor, are you? Not a medical one, I mean." 

"Actually, I did go to medical school." He didn't look at Deadpool, clearly busy with pushing various buttons on a small computer pad by the door. "And I don't think you have any degrees in anything that might help him, so do you really want to do this alone?" 

"Not even a little bit." Wade couldn't look at the table so he concentrated on Bruce. "Do you have any ideas?" 

Bruce glanced at him as the wall opened up into a loading bay, because they were looking at the inside of a box truck. Bruce walked inside, pulling at various straps until a bench had dropped down and they were able to strap the gurney down to the floor. Wade assumed Spidey was strapped to the table already, but he couldn't bear to lift the sheet and look. 

When they were done, Bruce pushed a few buttons, closing the bay doors again, and then another and the truck started. He shut the door, locking it, before he came to sit down next to him. Now, Wade could tell by the weight of it, that he held all of his attention. "I have ideas. Hypotheses. Theories. Nothing concrete. But it's better for him to be with me, with us, trying to save him, than with SHEILD who just wants to tear him apart." 

Wade licked his lips and nodded. "Yeah." 

"So, Deadpool. How much do you know about Spider-Man?"


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favoritest part of it all now. These next few chapters.

"So, Deadpool. How much do you know about Spider-Man?" 

Bruce was prepared for the sass king he had always known Deadpool to be, but that wasn't what he got. There was no humor in his posture or voice, he didn't try to make jokes. He just sounded tired. "He's young. Works in science. Thinks he found his soulmate. Has a very small family. Graduated less than a year ago with a super cool science degree I don't remember." 

"Damn." Bruce looked at the table. "I was hoping you knew who his soulmate was." 

Deadpool shook his head. "We're crime fighting buddies, but we tend to keep our civilian lives out of it. I don't know who he is under the mask." 

"I do, but when we're together, we talk science and the Avengers, not our personal lives. I know he's dating someone, but he hasn't told me anything more than that." Bruce bit his lip as he looked at him. That had been his surest bet. 

"Why is his soulmate so important?" Deadpool seemed to be looking anywhere but at Spider-Man. 

Bruce looked at him, deciding that this might be a good distraction. Besides the fact that he wouldn't be sitting and worrying about Peter, he'd be able to talk it through as he explained it. That had kicked his thinking into high gear before, so it was definitely worth a shot. "Do you know anything about the scientific side of soulmates?" The red and black leather clad head shook side to side. "No one has been able to figure out why we have them, and as fascinating as that is, I'm not going into the hundreds of experiments and theories that have gone into figuring that out. There are things we know about soulmates, at least as far as normal humans go."

"Normal humans?" Deadpool was interested, if the way he held himself was any indication. 

Bruce wasn't stupid, he knew he wasn't asking for a definition. "Without studying each individual enhanced person, we can't be sure what rules apply and what rules go out the window." He warmed up to his subject, feeling like he was onto something. "Take Steve, for example. The way that the serum affected him, it obviously healed him of all of his ailments. If they would have accepted that Bucky was his soulmate before, he probably could have been much healthier with a simple blood transfusion. But now? They tried to use his blood to combat some of the problems with Bucky when he was found, but either his serum, or Bucky's bastardized serum, or some combination of the two, made it ineffective. It's impossible to know how it works for the enhanced because of the various ways people have been enhanced." His own soulmate, Betty, was gone. There was no testing the bond between them anymore. 

Deadpool nodded. "But there's a chance that even with his soulmate, if we knew exactly who they were and where to find them and could get them to come here, it could just not help at all." 

It wasn't a question, but Bruce answered it anyway. "It's possible, but it wouldn't hurt. Of course, it's a moot point since we have no idea who they are." 

There was silence for a long time, each of them thinking. Finally, there was a slam as the truck hit a building and then stopped. Bruce got up to open up the door while Deadpool started unstrapping the table. They made their way into a new medical bay, clearly different than the other but with the same equipment. 

Not that the equipment was doing any good. Bruce had run every test that he could, and none of them gave him any answers. Seventeen percent of Peter's body was mutated now, and it was starting to become visible to the naked eye. 

When it was just Tony and him, they'd removed Peter's suit, discovering small injuries all over from the hard fight. When they'd realized they'd need Deadpool to get him away, they'd put the mask back on. They didn't think that Deadpool would say anything, not with how much he clearly cared about Spiderman. But it should be Peter's choice who he revealed his identity to, and he couldn't make the choice while he was like this. 

Once they were in the med room, with the door closed and the truck presumably gone, Bruce tore the sheet off, checking to see how much further the damage was. When he heard a gasp, he looked at Deadpool. Then, he looked at the body that was revealed. Lean muscle on display with only a mask and a pair of boxer briefs covering him, he almost expected Deadpool to crack innuendos. He was probably stopped by the damage. Bruises and small cuts were visible, but not the most disturbing things. The smaller cuts, on his thighs and chest, had dark green lines around them, under the skin. Soon, they'd look like the large gash on his calf, that hadn't been so big before. A vine crawled out of it, sending delicate tendrils back into his skin higher up as it crawled up his body. While they'd been transporting him, it had sent off buds. Judging by the lighter green color of two of them, and the purpleish color of the other, it would be leaves and a flower. 

It would almost be beautiful, if it weren't coming out of his skin, sending small drops of blood from the wound. 

Blood. 

Bruce turned quickly to stare at Deadpool. "Your healing factor."

"What about it?" Deadpool stared at him, Bruce could tell even without seeing his real eyes. 

He had to think through his intuition. "You were immune to it, even though you were even more in its breath weapon than he was. I'm assuming you're not growing flowers out of any of you." When Deadpool shook his head, Bruce nodded slowly, thinking out loud. "Tony and I have thrown out the idea of making many different cures with your blood as a base. Your healing factor could solve a lot of problems, if we could find a way to isolate the healing factor and give it limits." When he saw the way the man tensed, he held up his hand. "Don't worry. It was in the hypothetical situation where you consented to give it to us. We're not going to try to steal it." 

"Like you could." There was a touch of the man Bruce expected, steel under the playful words that reminded him he was facing down one of the world's top assassins. He might be playing nice with Spider-Man for now, but he was a force to be reckoned with, and one that couldn't be taken out. 

Bruce acquiesced. "The point doesn't matter. We wouldn't try." He looked at Peter, subtly reminding Deadpool why they were even discussing it. "We wouldn't have time to work at isolating things, so we'd run the risk of him, uh, 'contracting' your immortality. But, it might even be a better solution than his soulmate." 

Deadpool looked at him for a moment. "You're asking me to make that choice for him. To turn him into some version of me, without even his say in the matter." 

Bruce didn’t answer. It wasn’t really a question and even if it was, the answer would be obvious. Deadpool hadn’t gotten to his status by being a dumb man, he was fully aware that the world was full of hard choices that didn’t always result in clear winners. When the man cursed viciously and slammed his way out of the room, Bruce let him go. He’d stay here. He cared about Spider-Man, and hopefully that would be enough to pull him through this.


	29. Chapter 29

Wade slammed his way out of the medical room, pissed off to be faced with this choice. Who the hell was _he_ to be making it? The anger was compounded by seeing Spider-Man like that. It was wrong, so very wrong. Yeah, he was hot and usually he’d be more than happy to have an unobstructed view of him. Those abs? Those thighs? Everything about the guy was like a wet dream in spandex, and it just got better out of it. 

But he couldn’t get those vines out of his head. 

Seeing them growing, coming out of his skin? It was the stuff of nightmares, and he was kind of an expert on those. He’d seen some pretty grisly shit in his life, but he wasn’t sure that anything had ever topped that. There were _plants_ growing _out of his skin_. Spidey didn’t deserve that. He deserved to be happy and treated to free enchiladas and swinging on his little webs without a care beyond stopping purse snatchers. 

If he weren’t in a safe house set up by Tony, presumably run by Friday because the man didn’t know how to unplug, he’d rip his suit off. His agitation just made the suit feel constrictive. He couldn’t do that, though. Even if he wasn’t sure his identity was still a secret, he wasn’t going to just reveal himself. Until he got the confirmation that people knew about it, he’d act like he was still ‘anonymous’. Instead of doing what he wanted, he went to the kitchen and found a few, amazingly old, bottles of whiskey. “Thank you, Tony. Your sacrifice is appreciated.” He pulled his mask up and drank huge gulps out of the first bottle. As he felt the burn in his throat, he sent another text to Peter, and another phone call. But, like the last fifteen phone calls and sixty three texts, there was no answer. Which just made his frustration and anger all that much worse. 

All of this was just distraction tactics. No matter how much he dragged his feet, he was the only one that could make this decision. Spiderman was asleep or in a coma or something else that amounted to the same thing. The people around him had to make the best decisions they could for there to be any chance of Spidey making it through. Tony had made his choice, getting him away from the Tower and SHEILD. Bruce had made his, coming to him with his theory. Now it was squarely on his shoulders, because they needed his blood to make the whole thing work. The problem was that the solution Bruce had proposed was a lot more complicated than it looked from the outside. If it was a simple choice, he’d have already made it. Take my blood and save the Spider, clearly. But he couldn’t help thinking about the consequences. Sure, there was a chance that nothing would happen, that it wouldn’t help or that it would and he'd just go back to how he normally was. Those weren’t guarantees, though. There was a chance, maybe small but big enough for Bruce to have mentioned it, that he’d give him his immortality. Infect him with it, more like. 

People thought it was cool that he was immortal. They didn’t seem to understand the negatives. He couldn’t _stay_ dead. That didn’t mean he didn’t die. He still felt pain. And no matter what he went through, there was never a guaranteed end to it, because Death wasn’t permanent for him. There was even more than that, though. One day, he’d watch Ellie die, watch Peter and Ness die, because he wasn’t aging anymore. If he wasn’t aging and he couldn’t die, there would come a day when every single person he’d ever loved would be dead and he’d be alone. 

Except for Spider-Man, _if_ he gave him his blood and _if_ it had that side effect. Which he had no way of knowing without doing it. Usually, that wouldn’t stop him because no matter how bad things turned out, he’d be there after. It being Spider-Man, though? That put a whole new spin on things.

What if it did make him immortal and Spider-Man hated him for it? 

Wasn’t hating Deadpool for what he’d done better than him being dead, though? 

That was the moment he realized he loved Spider-Man. Maybe just as much as he loved Peter, though he thought that each love was in different ways. He loved Spider-Man, but he was sure that Peter was his soulmate. And… Peter was safe in a way that Spider-Man wasn’t. Peter wouldn’t be going off to run into danger as soon as it came up. He was smart, sensible, and way too cute for all of that. For Ellie’s sake, Peter was a much better choice, safer. Hell, maybe for his own, too. If he could still love him after he told him about Deadpool, safe was perfect. 

Wade groaned and then chugged the rest of the bottle of whiskey. After a few minutes, he shook his head and pulled his mask back down. Yeah, he’d made his decision. It was going to suck, especially if Spider-Booty hated him at the end, but at least he’d be alive if this worked. Wade could deal with hatred from him, it was what he deserved anyway, but he couldn’t handle him being dead. That was too much to ask of him.


	30. Chapter 30

Peter woke up, feeling groggy. Looking up, he didn’t see anything that made sense. He had no idea what ceiling that was. He looked over, trying to find something that he recognized. There was something, for sure. “Bruce?” Why was he somewhere, doing something presumably medical, with Bruce? The last thing he remembered was being at Wade’s apartment. And then… 

It all rushed back at him. “Deadpool!” He sat up, then got pushed back down to the table. “Stop, I need to get to Deadpool. I need to know he’s okay!” Peter was technically stronger than Bruce was, but he didn’t want to make him Hulk out because that was the last thing they needed. 

"Deadpool is fine. He survived the explosion. Well, in a way." Bruce must have seen the panicked look on his face. "He died, but he came back, squeaky clean. Don't worry about him." 

Peter sat up slowly this time, and Bruce let him. He looked around, but he still didn't recognize anything. "Where am I?" 

Bruce pulled up a computer screen on the wall, poking at things. "A safe house of Tony's. I'm not sure where." 

"But why? If the fights over, I should be at the tower, right?" Peter wasn't stupid. Bruce knew he wasn't stupid. So why was he intentionally hiding things? "Bruce, what happened?" 

Finally, Bruce must have realized it would be cruel not to tell him, because he turned back to him. "You were in the way when that creature breathed the last time. It knocked you out and you were falling, Tony caught you and brought you back to the tower.” Peter was having a hard time with this conversation. Nothing too bad had been said so far, but he was very sure that worse was to come. Bruce wouldn’t be beating around the bush if this was all, so he waited him out. “We were hoping you were fine, but you weren’t.” 

For a moment, Peter looked at him. He’d seen what that monster’s breath could do. He was terrified of what news was coming. “I wasn’t okay? So am I now?” 

“You seem to be?” Bruce gestured back at the computers. “We haven’t run enough tests to figure it out, but the damage seems to be reversed.” 

Peter sat on the end of the table, feeling awkward because he was just in his underwear, and his mask was laying off to the side. “Do you have some clothes around here? Even one of those awful hospital gowns that’ll have my ass in the air?” Bruce pointed him toward a set of drawers in the corner, where he found sweats that were too big. But he didn’t feel so awkward now that his dick wasn’t a millimeter from being on display to one of the world’s most renowned scientists. When he sat back on the table, he sat cross legged and looked at Bruce. “Okay. What was wrong with me?” 

Bruce made a face. “Flowers, honestly.” 

Usually, something like that would clearly be a joke, but he knew it wasn’t. With what he’d seen that thing do? No, flowers weren’t a joke. He hadn’t had any injuries, though. “How long was I out?” 

“A little less than twenty four hours.” 

“That doesn’t make any sense.” Peter had a healing factor, but it wasn’t anywhere near enough to combat something that could rewrite genetic code. And especially not in less than twenty four hours. As a matter of fact, if he fell and Tony caught him, he should have some bruises at the very least, maybe even broken bones. But he felt fine. Not even a tight muscle. 

Bruce sat on a chair facing him. “You were going to die. SHEILD wanted to take you, to experiment on you. Probably in hopes of getting together a weapon for if we ever go against something like that again.” He smiled a little. “Obviously, Tony had a huge problem with that, so he stalled them until his plan could work.” 

Peter raised a brow. “What plan?” 

“In a word?” Bruce chuckled. “Deadpool.” He leaned back. “He had plans to get you out of there, but if they weren’t going to work, he was going to get Deadpool to get you out so we had a chance to save you. It wasn’t needed, Tony’s first choice of plans worked and they have no idea where you are.” 

Licking his lips, Peter stared hard at him. Bruce still wasn’t telling him something. His senses were telling him something, but it wasn’t anything big or dangerous enough to give him any real answers. “So SHEILD isn’t going to make me into a pincushion anytime soon. I’ll thank Tony when I see him. What aren’t you telling me?” How did they manage to get the mutation to stop and reverse? 

“Deadpool, again.” This time, Bruce didn’t look so amused. He ran his fingers over his eyes. “We were hoping you’d told him who your soulmate was, at first.” Well, wasn’t that an uncomfortable thing to get brought up. Peter didn’t react, though. He wasn’t going to let the conversation get sidetracked, and he wasn’t sure he’d want to talk about his complicated love life with any of the Avengers. They didn’t particularly like Deadpool, except maybe Clint and Natasha. “He didn’t know, as I’m sure you know. So we came up with another plan.” 

It came together in his head, just a second before Bruce laid it out. 

“We used his blood to cure you.” 

Peter stared at his hands. He knew how much that must have cost Deadpool. They’d discussed Weapon X, sort of. No real details, but Peter had been able to tell how angry the experimentation had made him. He had probably hated giving up his blood, but he’d done it anyway. To save him. God, every time he thought he’d put his feelings for Deadpool aside, the man had to go and do something that had them right back in his chest. 

“- some test to test the theory, but back at the Tower would be better for it.” 

Shaking his head slightly, Peter looked back at him. “What?” 

Bruce raised his brows at him. “To see if you contracted anything from him? Like his healing factor?” His immortality was unspoken, but Peter heard it anyway. 

“Oh. Yeah. We should, we should probably do that.” That was a whole can of worms. “Can we go back to the tower now?” 

“Food first.” Bruce gestured toward a door. “Unless you want to get there while Tony’s still rubbing it in Fury’s face that he got you out and cured before Fury could mobilize to take you?” 

Well, when it was put that way, food sounded way better. He slid off the table and to the door, ready to find the food that was clearly promised on the other side.


	31. Chapter 31

Tony looked up as Bruce entered the lab. Peter had gone to change into some of the clothes he kept here for this purpose, so they had a moment alone. “Deadpool didn’t stay to see if Peter woke up, only until we could see it was working.” 

“Yeah, I know. He stole one of my cars. Oh, and one of my cards. Somehow.” Tony grimaced as he set his coffee cup down. “He left it at a Chili’s, after he paid for every bill in the place with 100% tip.” When Bruce snorted, Tony glared at him. “This isn’t funny, Greenie.” 

Bruce didn’t say anything, just continued to look amused. Finally, Tony couldn’t take it anymore. “So what’s it look like? Healed but normal?” He was really hoping for that one. 

“He healed more than just the mutation, but I don’t know if that’s because he had just gotten his blood, or if he’s developed the same healing factor.” Bruce sat down in his chair, looking at him. 

The elevator door opened, revealing Peter in jeans and a hoodie with the Spiderman logo on it. That had been a gift from Tony. “What’s the plan? We’re testing this, right?” 

“Uh, yeah?” Tony rolled his eyes. How could he ask such a ridiculous question? “Sit down, _mi niño_.” When Peter rolled his eyes, he ignored it because he also obeyed. “Now, we clearly aren’t going to try with something drastic but I’m sure we can find little things.” 

“Like this?” Peter pulled out a scalpel and held it over his exposed forearm. 

“STOP!” Tony almost had a heart attack. “What are you doing? Are you insane?” 

Peter stared at him, along with Bruce. “Well, to test my healing, we have to give it something to heal, right?” 

Tony put his hands on his hips. “Okay, but we need to start small. Like… Stab you with a pin or something.” Peter rolled his eyes and then proceeded to slice a long line through his forearm, just short of his wrist and up to a little before the inside of his elbow, completely ignoring the manly shriek that Tony let out. “Oh, God damn.” Tony couldn’t stop the words from coming out, because after just a small amount of blood was released, the wound stitched right back up in seconds. When Bruce grabbed a clean rag and wiped the blood away. There were still smears of it when he was done, but that was all the evidence of what had happened. “Oh, God _damn_.” He needed to sit down. Thankfully, Bruce pushed a stool over for him and he sank onto it gratefully. 

Within a few seconds, he was standing up again and trying to yank the scalpel out of his hand, because Peter had decided to just keep opening himself up. The only thing that saved him from being tossed into a padded room was that the look on his face was clear fascination and not some latent suicidal tendencies. “Stop that, crazy! Stop!” 

“Or what? You’ll cut yourself open with the scalpel? Tony, don’t be stupid. You’re going to get hurt if you don’t stop!” 

Peter was faster and stronger, but he definitely wasn’t more stubborn. Tony was going to get it away from him no matter what. “Put it down or I’ll sick Bruce on you!” He really didn’t appreciate the looks he got from either of them, but he could be graceful. Peter put it down, so he controlled the urge to tell him to go to his room. “This doesn’t mean anything, Peter. We don’t know how long this will last. What if it’s just for now, and it’ll wear off? You need to still be careful. Really careful. Promise me, Peter.” 

“Promise.” He didn’t look very convincing, but Tony had to take what he could get. “Can I go now? I have to go reassure Aunt May that I'm alright." 

Feeling drained, Tony waved him off. Once he left, he got up, going to the safe in the corner to pull out a bottle of whiskey. He drank straight from the bottle, ignoring the sound Bruce made. “I deserve this, Brucie. You saw what just happened.” He sighed and then shook his head. “Hey, Friday? Can you call Rhodey and Pepper? Tell them I want them over.” 

“Right away, Sir.” Her normally soothing voice didn’t help at all.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important question in the bottom notes!

For a few days, Peter kept everyone at a distance. He showed Tony his suit in video messages every night, carefully pointing out that there were no bullet holes, getting a kick out of his increasingly exasperated photo responses. That was about the only good thing going on, though. Wade kept trying to get him to come over, but Peter wouldn’t do it. He needed some distance to think. 

He loved Wade. He was funny and caring, as well as being incredibly sexy. There was a part of him that was very sure he was his soulmate. That certainly counted for something. 

Deadpool, though, had done something he almost certainly didn’t want to do to save him. Deadpool was his equal in a way he wasn’t sure that Wade ever could be. He’d never have to worry about Deadpool dying on him, whereas Wade could. Even without that, Wade could be used against him. If someone found out his secret identity, Wade would be cannon fodder. He wasn’t sure if he could live with the idea of taking Ellie’s dad away. 

On top of that, there was now the added confusion of his healing abilities. He’d been testing them, though not when he was patrolling. He cut himself open when he was home, finding that he healed just as quickly as before. There was a chance still that it would fade away, but it grew smaller every day. It was looking permanent. How would he explain that to Wade? Deadpool had told him he didn’t age anymore. Would that happen to him? Sure, that wouldn’t be noticed at first, not for a few years, maybe. After, though? What about when Wade turned fifty and Peter still looked twenty five? 

Of course, by that time, Peter would have had to tell him about Spiderman. He couldn’t see himself with someone for anywhere near that length of time without telling them. 

The whole thing was a giant mess and it was distracting. 

Gunfire pulled him back to reality. Of course, he turned toward it. He snuck over a roof, looking down to get an idea of what was going on, then climbed down the wall. “Hey, hey, hey. Guys! Let’s all just take a deep breath. I know yoga. That could calm you guys down.” The two groups jumped and looked up at him, their weapons lowering just a bit. “Great job. Yeah, we’re going to start with tree pose. You can do it, guys, just put the guns down.” He was looking at the man in front on his right because he looked more ballsy than the others. 

Another gunshot rang out, and pain made him cry out. It hit him in the shoulder, making him drop off the wall. 

“Shit! You killed Spiderman!” All he heard after the shout were running footsteps. When he got back off the ground, leaning against the building, there was no one else in the alley. Which was good, because he looked at his shoulder and found the bullet. As he watched, it pushed its way out of his skin, then the wound healed. 

“Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.” There was no way the wound would have been fatal, not unless he did literally nothing to help himself and bled out, but it was still a pretty big problem. It would have left him unable to use his shoulder, for weeks if not permanently. Instead, when he finally snapped out of it and started moving his arm, he felt nothing. It was just like it always was. It didn’t hurt. The only proof that it had even happened in the first place was the bullet on the ground and the blood soaking into the fabric of his suit. 

“What the hell, Peter?” 

Tony’s voice confused him. “Uh, Tony?” He licked his lips under the mask. “Did you put some new tracking device in my suit?” 

“Obviously. I needed to make sure you weren’t doing stupid things, but Friday says you got shot.” It was clear that Tony was trying to keep himself from freaking out, but he wasn’t doing that good of a job. His voice was a whole octave higher than usual, even accounting for the fact that it was coming out of a speaker in his mask. 

Finally, Peter sighed. “Well, yeah. I did.” 

“Get your ass to the tower. Now.” 

Peter sighed and then stood up, grabbing the bullet to take with him. He wasn’t particularly looking forward to this conversation, but he also knew he couldn’t put it off. If he tried, Tony would just find him at his apartment. Easier to just have it at the tower so he didn’t have to try to explain to any of his neighbors why Tony Stark was in his apartment yelling at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have my next fic started. It's going to be posted within the next week.
> 
> But we're having trouble coming up with a name so if you could do my poll that would be super helpful.
> 
> LINK REMOVED BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please vote on the next fic title if you haven't already!

Wade stared down at the city as he tucked his phone in his pocket. Spider-Man swung away from him as soon as he saw him coming. Which was fine, he understood. Spider-Man clearly hated him for what he’d done to him, but it was fine. He could deal with him hating him. That was just fucking fine. But, he couldn’t get anything from Peter beyond a couple phone calls and some very superficial texts. The man refused to come over, always coming up with excuses. They _were_ excuses. Each was a little more flimsy than the last one. 

The thing was, he could see where he fucked up with Spider-Man. Yeah, he’d helped save his life, but he’d also sentenced him to eternity. That was definitely an offense worthy of hatred. With Peter, though? What could he have done? He hadn’t seen him since before the alien, when things had been fine, and he’d made every effort to get in touch with him since it happened. Peter was the one that had dropped out of communication, actually, and his whole excuse for it was dumb. Saying he’d dropped his phone on his way to his Aunt’s house? And then couldn’t get a new one until two days later? That just sounded like bullshit from the start, and it just seemed more like it the more Peter refused to see him. 

Shit. He’d expected life to be a bunch of shit sandwiches, but he’d sort of hoped it would get better after finding his soulmate. Clearly, he was wrong. 

Speaking of shit sandwiches, the police scanner next to him turned on and told him about a gang fight a few blocks away. Well, even if Spidey was pissy with him, he was still going to do what he’d promised him. He was a good guy now, which meant he had to go stop that gang fight. They could spill over and get people hurt. So, he took the fire escape down to the ground and ran over. 

When he got there, he almost turned and left again. Spidey was already there. Except that when he looked for more than a second, it made his hair stand on end. Things like this, they’d done together many times. Usually, Wade busted in and drew all the attention - and gunfire - while Spidey dropped down and webbed everyone up. It was quick and efficient, the best use of their talents. And by talent, he meant the fact that he couldn’t die. Apparently, Spidey was doing both parts. He dropped down, right in the middle of it, and started webbing people up, not even bothering to dodge the bullets coming at him. 

To make it faster, Wade busted in with his rubber bullets, shooting anyone not webbed up. When everyone was unconscious, he didn’t slow down. He went right over to Spidey and shot him three times. One in each web shooter and the other to his left foot. “What the fuck, DP?” His voice was clearly annoyed as he hopped around on one foot, holding the other. “What was that for?” 

“Just because you can’t die permanently doesn’t mean you can’t get hurt, dumbass. You still have to be careful. Or do you want your first death to be in the middle of something vital and end up not being able to help anyone?” Wade wasn’t his usual cheerful self. No, he was pissed, and he was sure that Peter could hear it in how rough his voice was. 

“Oh, fuck off.” Spidey held up his hand, probably intending to shoot him with some web, but all that happened was a small click. “What the hell did you do to my shooters?” 

Wade crossed his arms. “Broke ‘em.” No, he wasn’t sorry. He knew the guy had spares and that he could get new ones easy. Walking his ass home would just serve him right. 

Spidey ripped his gloves off, feeling under the fabric of his sleeves until he could pull off his shooters. Each of them had a dent right where the web fluid was held, and both of them were leaking. Finally, annoyed, he dropped them to the ground and slammed his foot onto them, crushing them completely. He probably didn’t want to carry them around and didn’t want to risk someone else getting the technology. Then, he did something unexpected. He launched himself at Wade, landing more than a few good hits on him. 

Throwing his hands up, he got a hold on Spidey, right around his throat, and held him against the wall. “What are you doing?” 

Spider-Man was stronger than him, really, but not when his brain was starting to lose oxygen. He kicked him a few times, even managing to break Wade’s kneecap with a good one, but Wade was more than used to the pain of existence. It would be fine in a few minutes anyway. Soon, he was more intent on trying to peel Wade’s hand off his throat than hurting him. Wade just tightened his fingers a little more. Spidey wasn’t stupid, finally giving up. When he was relaxed, Wade relaxed his hand. Now, the hold on his throat was just a way of keeping distance between them. He heard Spider-Man sucking in breaths, but he didn’t speak. 

Finally, the red and blue head dropped back against the wall. “Why weren’t you there?” 

Wade was expecting… Well, something else. “What?” 

“When I woke up. I knew you were there, Bruce told me. You stuck around until you were sure I wasn’t going to die, but you couldn’t wait for me to wake up?” 

If Wade didn’t know better, he’d say that Spidey sounded wounded. That didn’t make any sense. Spider-Man hated him. Right? “I.. I didn’t want you… I -” Well, fuck. He hadn’t thought this out because he hadn’t realized this is how things would go. He let go of his throat and then swallowed as he took a step back. “We didn’t know how much of my healing factor would transfer to you. I didn’t want you to hate me if you got it all. Which it looks like you did.” Reaching out, he poked the couple of bullet holes in his chest, seeing pale skin through the holes. 

Pale hands with long fingers came up, touching his skin where Wade just had. “Yeah.” For a moment, he looked up at him, tilting his head. “You thought I’d hate you? Why?” Wade didn’t answer, the two of them just staring at each other for a long moment. “Meet me on the roof.” Spidey didn’t give him any time to respond to that request, just moved to the wall and started climbing up it. Honestly, it always kind of freaked Wade out when he did that. There was something very horror-movie-esque about watching a human being climb up a wall without any tools or equipment. Though, he did have to admit, it gave him a great view of his ass. _No, Wade. You chose Peter, even if the guy’s being a dick right now. Get your eyes off that delicious ass._ He bent to pick up the gloves Spidey had left behind and then started up the fire escape. 

On the roof, he stared at Spider-Man, who stood staring out over the city. He couldn’t make everything out, since the guy had picked seriously the _darkest_ part of the roof to stand on and brood. Wade had no idea what to do, so he kind of just stood at the top of the fire escape, Spidey’s gloves in one hand. “I didn’t realize how much you hated yourself.” The voice that spoke was quiet, and not as deep as it usually was. It sounded familiar, kind of. There was still a bit that he recognized as belonging to Spider-Man, but there was something else, too. Something that had him trying to figure it out. Who did he sound like? 

Before he figured it out, Spider-Man moved a bit, just enough that Wade’s eye caught on something in his hand. Cloth? But the only cloth he had was his suit, and he could make out enough to tell it wasn’t big enough to be the whole suit. And he had his gloves… “I don’t hate myself, exactly. I hate that I’m always going to be alone, you know? I can find friends and family, maybe even love.” He thought of Peter, the way he’d looked asleep on his chest that day. “But no one is going to stick around because they can’t, you know? They’ll die and I’ll be alone.” 

“But not me.” Spider-Man tossed the cloth behind him, and his mask landed at Wade’s feet. “My cells are accelerated, constantly renewing. Bruce thinks that’s what’s happening to you, too. Why you don’t age. Of course, we can’t test it without you giving a sample and no one wants to trip your bad memories by asking.” Wade took a couple steps closer, but stopped as soon as Spider-Man stepped onto the edge of the building. He didn’t need to be told any more clearly to keep his distance. He stepped back so that Spider-Man would step back off the edge. Without his shooters, even he’d end up a pancake at the bottom of the building, and he didn’t want to be the one to cause Spidey to reveal his identity. 

Wade breathed a silent sigh of relief when he stepped back down. He wasn’t psychic, so he clearly couldn’t tell for sure, but he thought that Spidey was just forcing him to keep his distance. He wasn’t exhibiting any of the signs of a person wanting to jump off a building. That was good, because he could barely deal with what he was saying, much less wanting to feel death for the first time. “Okay?” 

He turned now, but the shadow across him still kept his head and shoulders hidden. He couldn’t see anything except some hair that looked like it was probably messy from the mask and fingers running through it. Wade had seen Spidey run his hands over his head often enough to know that he probably ran his hands through his hair a lot. “Could you choose me? I know I’m not your soulmate, but could you?” 

Wade almost swallowed his tongue. What?! He was asking for him to put aside Peter. How was he supposed to make a decision like that? Couldn’t the part where he made a lot of awful decisions be over for now? It wasn’t like he didn’t deserve a -

Spider-Man moved, stepping forward out of the shadow. “Peter?”


	34. Chapter 34

Peter clearly didn't recognize Wade under the Deadpool mask, and he was confused as to how Deadpool could know who he was. Even if he'd known exactly how close Clint and Wade were, he knew no one would give up his identity. Hell, Bruce had kept him masked while he was recovering from the disaster, strictly so Deadpool wouldn't find out his identity. 

But something about the way the man held himself, combined with the certain way he'd said the name, had Peter rethinking it. Wade saw the moment he guessed who he must be, confirmed when he removed his mask. "Wade!" 

Peter ran at Wade, jumping on him and kissing him intently for a long moment. Wade kissed back, but his brain wouldn't shut off and let him enjoy himself for once. "Wait." He pulled back, waiting until Peter dropped off of him before he ran his hands through his hair. "You wanted Deadpool." He didn't fully understand exactly what had just happened, but he knew that much. Now Peter couldn't even look at him, so they both seemed fully aware of what that meant. "Deadpool, not Wade. You told me you loved me and you were, what? Going to tell me to leave? Or were you going to continue on with me and try to be with Deadpool at the same time?" Wade wouldn't have thought that Peter was the type of guy that could even do that, let alone draw it out, but this whole thing just kind of said that there was a lot to Peter he didn't know. 

"Wade, no. Of course not. I couldn't do that." Peter needed him to believe that, even though he wasn't sure he could explain it. He wouldn't have been with both of them. 

Unfortunately, it didn't help much. Wade grabbed a gun from his thigh, rubbing the barrel of it across his scalp. Peter could hear the scrape of it over his scars and his hair. "So you were going to leave me? Fuck Wade and everything about him, fuck Ellie and Al and Ness and Weasel and every single person that was so happy for me to have found my soulmate. Because you didn't want me. You wanted Deadpool." He shoved the gun back into its holster, but Peter could see the tension in his fists. He was fighting back violence. "You think I'm your soulmate but you still chose Deadpool over me." 

"No, Wade, baby, it's not like that -" 

"It sure as hell looks that way, Peter!" Wade shouted, but even as angry and hurt as he was, he quieted his voice when he said Peter's name. 

Wade started pacing, and Peter let him. Right now, they both needed to calm down. As long as Wade didn't leave this roof, they had time to figure it out. Now that Peter realized he didn't have to choose between them, he wasn't going to lose his soulmate. He was going to stay right here until they hammered it out and they ended up riding off into the sunset, or whatever the superhero equivalent was. 

Peter watched Wade, who was cursing and pulling out various weapons as he paced. He never actually used the weapons, though Peter was sure that it was a near thing. The Deadpool he'd first met would have turned that violence on himself, or onto Peter. And a physical fight between them would be a mess. Peter didn't have to be careful with either of them, not with a healing factor between them. And if Deadpool got pissed enough to start actually attacking him, they'd be here for hours. 

So Wade pacing and muttering angrily to himself, while Peter watched and felt horrible, was honestly the best outcome for now. 

Peter sat on the ground, staring into space as he tried to find the best way to explain himself. Wade was concentrating on calming the murderous impulses running through his chest. So many of the lies Peter had told made sense now, knowing that he was lying to hide his time as Spidey. Even that biker gang story, though Wade was definitely going to have to help him figure out better lies. But the truth of it was that he'd chosen Deadpool. Not Wade. And Wade had chosen Peter, not Spiderman. Could that be fixed between them? 

"Can I explain myself?" Peter's voice was almost jarring, but he turned to him, slipping his knife back into its sheath. Knowing that this was all he was likely to get, Peter stood up and faced him, though he didn't step closer. He wasn't going to push his luck. "I did pick Deadpool over Wade, but it wasn't about loving him more than I love you." They both made a face because talking to each other about each other with different names was a pain and a little insane. "Deadpool is safe in a way you weren't. I mean, it's a little confusing because they're both you, but you know what I mean. Deadpool can't die, and he can keep himself safe. I was afraid that you, Wade, would be used against me if someone found out my identity, and I couldn't handle you or Ellie in danger. And then after the whole alien thing and getting your healing factor, I just got confused about it. I didn't want to watch you die and Deadpool wouldn't."

Wade snorted. "You chose Deadpool because he was safe." He almost laughed. The idea was ridiculous. Only someone as wildly optimistic as Peter could think of Deadpool as safe. He actually did start laughing, a little hysterically, because he'd chosen Peter for _the exact same reason_. 

Peter had an unsure smile on his face, not sure if the fight was over or not, but getting a little freaked out the longer Wade laughed. When it finally ended, it was abrupt and jarring. "I chose Peter because _he_ was safe. I didn't have to worry about Spider-Man's nobility throwing himself into fights he's outnumbered in because Peter, yeah, he lied, badly, but he was just a nerd with a lab job."

"Well, sorry for you, buddy, but Peter isn't just a nerd with a lab job, he's Spider-Man and he's still going to throw himself into fights he's outnumbered in." Peter crossed his arms, a little insulted by Wade's description of him. 

"I know. And.." Wade cocked his head and smiled a little. "I'm kind of glad about it. I probably would have gotten bored with that Peter, as much as I love him." 

Peter felt the tension drain out of the air between them. He knew that this was the opportunity to get them settled, as Deadpool and Spider-Man, Peter and Wade. He stepped closer to Wade, hoping he'd let him do it. When Wade wrapped his arms around him and pulled him tight to his chest, Peter laid his head on his shoulder. "I know I made a shitty mistake but it wasn't easy. I didn't really want to give you up." 

"You don't have to, baby boy." Wade kissed the side of his head. "Neither of us was ever going to get exactly what we were expecting."

Peter pulled back just enough to be able to look at him. "Are you okay with that? I mean, I don't want to put Ellie in danger." 

Wade grinned. "She was already in danger with me as her dad." He didn't like it, obviously, but he judged the risk to her as being less with him around and able to protect her. 

"But the number of dangers just went up by one." Peter bit his lip. 

"And so did her protectors, right?" When Peter smiled a little and nodded, Wade kissed him. Things weren't perfectly settled, he had a feeling there would be a lot more conversations about all of this in their future, but he could feel that they'd both agreed to put in the work. And that was enough. "So, your place isn't too far from here, right?" 

"It'd be even closer if someone hadn't destroyed my shooters." Peter glared at him, but the humor on his face robbed it of any real anger. 

Wade raised his hands in surrender. "So I got a little pissy. It's not the first time, and definitely won't be the last." 

Peter chuckled as he pulled his mask back on. "Just next time, don't go for the shooters. We're probably still going to fight and I'd like to be able to have make up sex easily afterward. Which requires a bed."

"I'm pretty sure beds aren't actually required for sex, make up or otherwise." Wade grinned at him. 

Tilting his head a bit, Peter smiled. He pulled the mask back off and then dropped it to the ground before jumping back up onto Wade, instantly kissing him with hunger.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright yall. Here's the smut.  
Tomorrow the epilogue will go up, and be sure to tune in because I'll have a surprise for youuuuuy

Wade held tight to Peter's thighs and ass as they kissed, stepping forward until he had him braced against the wall. "Please tell me this is a two piece or I'm going to rip it."

Peter laughed and leaned his head back, snaking his hands between them. He fiddled with something, Wade couldn't get his mind to cooperate enough to pay attention to what, but then he saw a sliver of skin. It stretched as he watched, expanding. "You gonna help me there, big guy?" 

"Huh?" Wade looked up, a little dazed. 

Chuckling, Peter kissed him. "It works better if you help me get these off." 

Wade nodded. "Yes, yes. Of course. Let me just, uh." He put Peter down, yanking the pants of his suit down. Peter stepped out of them, kicking them to the side. Honestly, Wade was a little mesmerized. He was finally able to _see_ his beautiful cock. He'd felt it, pressed against him as they slept or as they kissed, but he'd never touched it. He dropped to his knees, wasting no time in gulping it down and reveling in the choked off curse that fell from Peter's lips. 

Fingers tangled in Wade's hair, pulling tight against them as Peter moaned. Peter had no idea what was coming out of his mouth anymore, noises and curses and possibly some compliments. All he knew was that Wade seemed to have no gag reflex and wanted Peter as far down his throat as he could get. He also might possibly be part Hoover because Peter was sure either his soul or his entire nervous system was going to get pulled right out of his body through his dick. 

Wade wanted to see him come completely undone, so he reached into his pouches, finding a small bottle of lube. He spread it on his fingers after he removed the gloves, and surprised Peter with a finger gliding into him. Peter was so turned on, he was vibrating under Wade's mouth and around his finger. He desperately wanted to tell him he was ready, but he couldn't get his mouth to cooperate. All he could do was moan and then finally cover his mouth to stop himself from screaming Wade's name as he came. 

Even coming wasn't a relief, though. Wade worked him with first one finger and then two and finally three, sucking him through the orgasm. By the time he pulled off of Peter, the man was hard all over again. He was pulled into a bruising kiss and he had zero problems with that. "Fuck me, Wade. Please." 

"I'd love to." Wade grinned against his mouth. "But I need to get my pants down." 

Peter didn't wait for him to unzip, instead reaching between them and grabbing both sides of his leather pants. He yanked, Wade feeling the muscles bunch against him, and then his pants ripped apart. "Ung. God, that's hot." Peter pulled Wade's cock out and then started climbing the wall a bit while Wade lubed himself up. 

From there, it was a whirlwind. Wade slipped inside of him easily and fast, Peter holding himself to the wall. It was perfect because Wade didn't have to worry about holding Peter up, he was just free to grab his hips and fuck him in a frenzy. He didn't have to worry about hurting him, because Peter just moaned the harder he thrust. 

Wade finally came deep inside him, biting his lip so hard it bled as he pressed his face into the crook of Peter's neck. Peter did the same, feeling his second orgasm rip through him and spatter against Wade's chest. 

They kissed, blood mingling between their mouths before each of their wounds healed. "I love you." Peter smiled at him, his forehead pressed against Wade's. 

"I love you, too." Wade smiled and kissed him softly for a second, then let Peter down. Clean up took a few minutes, and Wade had to tie his belt very tightly to keep the ripped crotch of his pants from getting him an indecent exposure charge. They ended up walking back to Wade's place after a stop at the safe house for sweats. Al gave them a Look as they came in, then shook her head as she left. They laughed as they fell into bed together, wrapping around each other.


	36. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, the epilogue.   
And early, because I'm so excited for what comes in the bottom note.   
:D

Ellie had laughed when Peter had said he wanted an intimate ceremony with no big fuss. Thankfully, her step-dad seemed to realize exactly how unlikely it was because he'd grinned. Instead, after five years and numerous adventures, they got married in a huge ceremony on one of Tony's private islands. 

The wedding colors were red and grey. She'd managed to talk her father out of the blood red suit he'd wanted, so he had stood up in a nice grey suit with a white shirt and a red tie. His cufflinks, though, were his Deadpool mask, made of silver, ruby, and black diamonds. He'd seated his 'parents', Weasel somehow managing to wear a perfectly tailored suit and still look scruffy, and Al wearing a red velvet track suit. They were just as weird as his dad. Then, he'd gone to his room, and Peter had come with his 'parents'. Peter wore a grey suit as well, with a red bow tie and white shirt. His cuff links were circles of rubies and sapphires, with tiny black diamond spiders. Aunt May wore grey, as well, looking absolutely stunning. Tony wore an expensive suit and red sunglasses, trying to hide his crying but failing because he kept wiping them with his pocket square. Then, he stood at the front, right in front of Thor, who'd been tapped to be the officiant. That had been a bit of a fight between a few of them. Steve, Bruce, and Cable had all wanted the job but Thor won since he was _actually_ a god. 

The wedding party made their way down. Ned and Vanessa wore dark grey suits, though Vanessa's was low cut to show odd the stunning collar she wore of diamonds and rubies. They went to their respective sides, and then came MJ and Logan, her red dress looking classy against the dark grey of his suit. Gwen and Cable were next, looking just as lovely. 

Ellie came next, her arm tucked into Miles. This was where things stopped being what Peter expected. Peter said neither of them were brides so they didn't need flower petals. Which, while true, was not accurate. She had a basket that she tossed things out of. Flower petals, yes, but also bullet shells and spiderweb shaped confetti. When they got to the front, Peter gave her a look, clearly suspicious, but she smiled widely at him while Miles moved to the end of his line. She blew Peter a kiss and then turned around, walking right back down the aisle and disappearing into the room her dad was in. Colossus was in on it, since he had to be as the master of ceremonies. He cued up the music, a rocked out version of here comes the bride. 

Taking her father's arm in hers, she popped a top hat on her head and grinned at him. "You look beautiful, daddy." 

"Thank you, baby." He pulled the veil more properly over his face, and then shook out some nerves as he grabbed his giant, dramatic bouquet. Ellie couldn't help smiling as she saw Peter's face. He was definitely surprised, and a little exasperated, but she could also see a huge amount of love shining from his eyes. 

She gave her father away, kissing his cheeks and then 'handing him off' to his soon to be husband. Colossus cried, Deadpool cried, but they managed to be married in the end. 

The party followed immediately afterward, and with so many superheroes in attendance, it got pretty crazy. So crazy, in fact, that Ellie didn't even have to help the grooms disappear. By the end of the party, barely anyone had noticed that they were gone. They'd be back from their honeymoon in two weeks, and the supers in attendance would keep their city safe in their absence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT EXISTS
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/series/1730374
> 
> That is a link to the series I'll be working on next. Check it out, fall in love, make a sacrifice to the spirits that I found such a lovely person to work with, one xangedechux.


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